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对,我是认为同性恋十分可耻,那是不正常的行为,但又抗拒不了与他说话、和他接吻时那种奇特美好的感觉。魏翔说中我的心事,这回换我被堵得说不出话来。&ldo;你有没有发现你已经不排斥我吻你,你有没有发现当我坐在你身边时你会往我靠过来,你有没有发现我找你说话的时候,你的表情会变得很温和?和那时候在新宿车站狠狠打我一拳的你完全不同,我以为我们已经可以回到过去的相处模式,但你今天为什么又要讲出这种话。&rdo;他忍耐着颤抖,低声说着:&ldo;每当我觉得自己有点幸福,你就要将我摇醒。我有时候真的觉得你好残忍,但是又没办法叫自己离开你。&rdo;看得出来魏翔因我而感觉难受,我突然后悔自己为什么跟他说那些话。我过于冲动想将与他的一切联系切断,这狠狠地伤透了他。他难过的神情给我莫大的罪恶感,我觉得自己真的是糟糕透顶,干嘛用那种冷冰冰的言语刺激他,他不应该受到我如此恶劣的对待。魏翔是个善良的孩子,没什么心机,对我和奈奈也都好。甚至在我对他不太熟稔,曾经朝他拳打脚踢的那段时间,还抱着病痛照顾发高烧的我。他应该值得更好更温柔的疼惜,等我的八年,早已让他的心千疮百孔。&ldo;算了,再说下去也没意思,改天再谈吧!&rdo;我深深地叹了口气,往门走去,想离开大哥的房间到外头透透气,因为他,我的胸口又开始闷痛起来。走过他身边时,他突然紧紧地抓住我的手。&ldo;改天谈的话,是不是又要重复今天的话题。&rdo;他不肯放开我的手。&ldo;如果真的是这样的话,我倒宁愿你把所有想说的话一次说完,以后就永远都别再提。&rdo;&ldo;你别这样。&rdo;我啧了声,他的固执叫我不知如何响应。&ldo;你可能觉得我很烦,因为我常看见你对我皱眉头。&rdo;他说:&ldo;我一觉得你在烦,就会更紧张想讨好你,怕你真的去下我自己走掉。是不是这样恶性循环让你讨厌起我来,如果真的是的话,我会改,真的会改。&rdo;&ldo;也不是啦……&rdo;看着他这么难过地自己挑自己的缺点,我竟有些不忍。&ldo;奈奈也没这么黏我,所以你二十四小时跟着才让我不习惯。那种口头上说烦,其实也不是真的烦,你不要那么在意。&rdo;我有些困扰自己开口想安抚他的举动。&ldo;拜托你……&rdo;他将我搂近,低着头,将额头靠在我肩膀上。&ldo;拜托你别离开我,你要我做什么都可以,就是不要离开我……&rdo;我忍不住举起手,想放在他松软的头发上,碰触他,叫他安心。但手在半空中迟疑地停顿了一下。如果真这么下去,就代表我答应不会离开他了。那是不行的,我不应该让这个大男孩左右我以后的生活。然而,我的手还是放下去,轻轻拍了他的头,将他微翘的头发又弄乱了些。这时我才知自己早已动摇,如果离开他、见不到他,那失落的人也许会变成两个。我将是其中之一。在大哥的房里待了一下,等魏翔的情绪完全平复以后,我们才又回到客厅里。奈奈将电视声音开得很大声,几乎有些吵,整张脸又贴在屏幕前面盯着帅哥播报员不放,我本来想向前去将她拉开些,但魏翔的手指紧紧扣着我的,似乎不许我离开他一分一秒。&ldo;你抓太紧了。&rdo;我们靠得很近,说话的声音不用太大便能传到对方耳里。&ldo;嗯。&rdo;他只是回了个单音,并没有放开的意思。妈妈在外头晒太阳,阿爸牵牛去田里散步没那么快回来,奈奈又忙着看帅哥不理会我们,我想及魏翔方才失落痛苦的模样,手也就忍着没有甩开来。坐在客厅那张老旧的藤椅上,他挨着我,静静的什么话也不说。我拿起大哥刚刚端出来的水梨吃了几口,香甜的水梨切片滴下了汁液,沿着手指往下慢慢地滑,停在手腕处。&ldo;拿张卫生纸给我。&rdo;我看魏翔身旁有盒加油站赠送的面纸盒,便指了指。他抽张面纸过来,微微倾下身体,替我将水梨汁擦拭干净。在他靠近我的时候,我发觉他头发没盖住的脖子部分有着一个又一个的红点,那是吻痕。&ldo;怎么会有这个?&rdo;老实讲,那横看竖看也不像被蚊子叮的,我有些讶异,一直说喜欢我的他,居然让别人在他身上留下吻痕。
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