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  母亲睡熟了。在每日的折磨拷问过后,她总是睡得最安稳的人。

  阿寄望着母亲的睡脸,渐渐地自己也困倦了,抱着膝盖坐在这永巷监牢的阴暗角落里,侧着头睡去……

  她睁开眼时,晨光已透进了窗纱,懒懒地洒在她的被褥上。她怔了很久,才反应过来,掖庭狱里的事已过去了九年多了。

  怎么会忽然想起来过去的事呢?想起来母亲的白和伤疤,想起来渗水的潮湿的墙,想起来所有人口中都如鬼魅一般存在的安乐公……

  也不知母亲现在在宫里过得怎样了……

  “昨日我去见了伯母,她尚很清醒,还问我你在外面是不是吃苦了。”

  脑海中回响起柳岑的话。她咬着唇,睁着眼睛望着床顶,想,我这算什么吃苦呢?和母亲的苦比起来,我这算什么吃苦呢?

  她起身洗漱更衣,而后走到廊上,葳蕤枝叶已零落,微冷的风拂过一地黄叶,又吹起片片枯黄的蝴蝶来。她恍惚间想起,自己已近两个月未曾见过安乐公了。

  秋意已深了。

  自从那一日的争吵过后,即使他们只隔了一进院落,却竟然也可以做到互不相见。偶尔她从张迎那里听来一些消息,说是虽然陛下开了恩,安乐公却也不爱出外游乐,只是闷在房中读书,早起晚睡的,一日日地愈加瘦了。

  几个宫婢说说笑笑地走进院中来,见到她,都是一怔,而后绕道走开了。阿寄看见她们穿的衣裳,正是上回蒙赐的布料裁剪成的,倒是真的缤纷动人。

  “阿寄姐姐!”张迎却突然从外头跑了进来,“快出来,我阿爹找您。”

  张迎的阿爹也就是他的义父张持了。那几个宫婢听见这话,都不由得望了过来。阿寄连忙收拾一下自己的衣着,跟着张迎走到前院去,张持正背着手看那庭中的银杏。

  “啊,”见她来了,张持笑了笑,“是陛下请您过去,不必声张。”

  阿寄随张持到了昭阳殿后殿,却并未见到皇帝。

  “请姑娘在此处等候,陛下少刻便到。”张持说着,便退下了。

  阿寄点点头,在殿中跪下了。微风拂过帘帷,将炉中的苏合香轻飘飘地带了出来,氤氲满室。帘后有宫婢侍卫,俱都一动不动地站着,仿佛还在盯着她瞧。

  她不由得跪直了身子。

  ***

  “张迎?”

  深夜里,顾拾唤出一声,张迎忙颠颠儿地跑到门前来:“郎主,您要歇了?”

  顾拾搁下,揉了揉太阳穴,轻轻地“嗯”了一声。张迎便去给他准备热水,一边探出脑袋道:“您今日可累了一整日了。”

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