第225章 初来乍到(第1页)
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根据被老阿姨抛弃的老聋汉所述,老阿姨出家在斯里兰卡中部的一个寺庙,具体名字他忘了,不过我怀疑不是他忘了,而是压根就没听见。
要知道,他是真的很聋!
斯里兰卡尼姑庵不多,国土不大,据我们有限的资料,老司机在斯里兰卡的表弟提供了具体的地址,找起来也没那么麻烦。
斯里兰卡在世界上几乎没什么存在感,除了本族语言,英语还有一定的社会基础,使用的货币是卢比,一块钱的人民币相当于三十卢比,如果不是学过高中地理,恰巧又有“地理小王子”沽名钓誉的称号,我一时间对它的存在还真有点含糊。
郭德纲曾说过,同行之间才是赤裸裸的仇恨,同样是出租车司机,老司机对开车年轻小伙儿的技术十分不满,最后经他再三确认,老司机义正言辞地告诉我,司机可能在绕路。
“什么?可能在绕路?怎么能是可能呢?”
我指着十字路口中间小环岛的乌鸦神像道:“这个小环岛咱都转了三圈了,人生地不熟,你绕路没事,这是拿我们当傻子啊!”
一听这话,老司机暴跳如雷:“真给我们出租行业丢人。”
老司机刚要作,年轻小伙儿从屁股底下抽出一把砍刀,也没说话,只是扔在了副驾驶座位上。
最怕空气突然安静。
我和老司机深深咽了一口唾沫,看着耀眼的砍刀,我俩异口同声:“在哪儿转不是转啊,反正一直在路上!”
一路上咱也不敢说也不敢问,初来乍到,果然被当地人诈到了。
天色渐黑,三个小时的车程后,年轻小伙儿将我和老司机扔在一个小村庄的路口,站在村口,我突然想起菲律宾的阿雅。
结了账,老司机掐着表跳脚大骂:“刨去绕圈的时间,你知道我们来这里需要多长时间吗?”
“多长时间?”
“一个半小时,王八蛋比我还能坑外地人!”
我打断老司机:“大哥,别说那个王八蛋了,另一个王八蛋呢?”
“谁?”
“你表弟啊,他不是在斯里兰卡种茶吗?你不是说他在村头和我们集合吗?”
老司机一拍脑袋:“气得我把这茬给忘了。”
老司机转身给表弟打电话去了,我憋着一泡尿,看着四下无人,就钻进了小树林。
就在我水流湍急、一而不可收拾的时候,一个身影从我身边一闪而过,我一惊,硬生生收了我的“水龙头”,这里的人情风俗咱不懂啊,别破了人家的规矩,谁敢保证随地大小便在这里不是诛九族的重罪。
我转身要走,一头撞在了一个软绵绵的东西上,抬头一看,是个五大三粗的女人。
五大三粗,五大:手大、脚大、耳大、肩宽、臀肥,三粗:腰粗、腿粗、脖颈粗。
在我面前她是力拔山兮气盖世的阴影,在她面前我是手无缚鸡之力的柔弱男子。
我慌了,她是不是什么都看见了?她会不会捂着脸喊一句流氓而后惹全村人对我群起而攻之?
撒泡尿而已,从形体学角度说,我这也属于浇灌!
就在此时,老司机突然大喊我的名字,此时不走更待何时,我做贼心虚指了指老司机的方向,女壮士犹豫了一会儿,还是给我让出了一条路。
我撒了欢儿的跑啊,边跑嘴里边喊:“得儿,驾!得儿,驾!”
一路风尘,老司机都拽不住我,跑出去二里地我才敢回头看一眼。
老司机像狗一样大喘:“不就撒个尿嘛,你至于嘛,被蜜蜂蛰了?”
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