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甚至有自称她室友的人爆料,说穆中华口臭严重。当我一条一条看到最后时,终于忍不住笑了,穆中华,你的心理是有多强大,这么强的火力下,你还是活的好好的。我又想起她说她尿频时那种一本正经的表情。她可真有意思。困意来袭前,我在页面底下的留言框里敲击了这么一行字:她没口臭的。在填用户名时,我想了想,填写。【穆中华】那天回家,我就和外婆挑明了:没感觉、没时间、没兴趣,对方的感觉估计和我差不多,所以烦请他们二位家长哪凉快蹲哪儿歇会儿,别再搀和这事儿了,忒乱。我想到离席前我的那句话,捂着肚子去厕所。在避风港虽然跑了好几趟,但每次都是对着镜子赌气,忘了顾忌肚子,现在它叫嚣的和我闹革命。厕所的门关着,里面传来穆子业朗朗的读书声:在广袤的非洲大糙原上,生活着一群动物,它们组成一个神奇的食物链,斑马吃糙,猎豹吃斑马,而猎豹的天敌是……&ldo;穆子业,给你十秒钟提着你的裤子开门出来,不然不用你知道猎豹的天敌是谁,我就送你房间那些厕所读物归西!&rdo;穆子业热爱厕所读物,每次蹲厕所都要拿一本进去,他的习惯也奇怪,每次都非得出声朗读,小孩子年纪不大,还没变声,读起书来倒也字正腔圆,平时我也忍了,可现在忍不了了。&ldo;暴力!&rdo;穆子业在门里抗议。而我拼命忍着,嘴上却轻松着语气:&ldo;法西斯为你倒数,9、8、7……&rdo;数到五的时候,两手提着裤子,下巴夹着他那本厕所读物飞奔进屋,边奔他还边说:&ldo;妈,中国都解放这么多年了,咱家咋还有人暴力统治啊!&rdo;我不理他,关了门,蹲在坑上的我顿时觉得世界都轻松了。门外传来了南禕的声音:&ldo;喂,怎么样?&rdo;我知道她问我的是顾千山,我不可能拿应付外婆那套来对付南禕,手撑着下巴,我喃喃:&ldo;小禕,你说托福600嫁给雅思800生的是学霸,四级挂六次的和个挂八次的结婚能生出啥?再说我没感觉,他不来电的。&rdo;顾千山和我一样,对这次&ldo;相亲&rdo;都不大感冒,从刚才我提出来先走,而他没送我就可见一斑。门外的小禕却笑的开心:&ldo;中华啊,托福满分120,雅思才9分,你说的状元是在日本考的吧。&rdo;我在门里玩着手机,听她继续说:&ldo;不过啊,照你这个性子,我都要误会你是不是因我误终身了。&rdo;去你的,我才不是同性恋呢!正说着,前一秒我才说过对我不来电的顾千山,来电了……晚上,我俩并排趴在c黄上,南禕问起顾千山那通电话。&ldo;什么意思,当然是没意思了!估计是他妈逼的,他才心不甘情不愿的打给我的吧。&rdo;说这话的我有点昧良心,因为刚刚电话里的顾千山听不出什么不情愿,他语气算得上柔和,先和我说抱歉,因为没能抽身送我,然后问我是否安全到家了。顾千山吧,除了给我的感觉城府深了点,能装了点、马后炮了点,还算个人。南禕拍我:&ldo;别骂人。&rdo;我哪骂了,我没说他不是人啊。南禕瞪我,我哦了一下,那句&ldo;他妈逼的&rdo;啊。我哈南禕的痒,改了个话题问她和她那个男朋友的事。南禕的男朋友叫程风,挺飘逸潇洒的名字,却和本人有点出入。我见过他一次,是只四眼天鸡,长相过于斯文,身材更是弱不禁风。我很难理解无论长相还是家事都好天鸡太多的南禕怎么就看上他的。&ldo;就他那身板,连我都打不过。&rdo;第一次见程风后,我这样评价他。&ldo;就你那身手,几个男人打得过?&rdo;这是南禕给我的回答,倒真有几分道理,我毕竟学了六年的空手道呢。我叹口气,结束回忆:&ldo;这次和家里闹掰了也是因为他吧。&rdo;程风农村出生,大南禕八岁,家里两弟一妹,南禕爸妈说凤凰男嫁不得,可南禕就铁了心认准了他,和家里僵了几年,眼见要毕业了,估计家里急了。南禕伸手敲了我头一下:&ldo;猜得不错,可以去客串柯南了。&rdo;她说的漫不经心,我却替她担心:&ldo;小禕,说实话,我真不看好你和程风。&rdo;&ldo;他对我很好。&rdo;&ldo;我还对你好呢!&rdo;

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