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明白迟早会失去这个人的事实,让他慌乱无助地红了眼眶,落下泪来。睡了许久,当天都要暗下来,小羲被温柔地吻醒。「起床了小羲,我煮了一点东西,快起来吃吧!」逢明将小羲由床上拉了起来,被子自小羲身上掉下,小羲身体上留有几处逢明所植下的吻痕。小羲睁开朦胧的双眼,疲倦地往浴室走去。他将粘腻的身躯冲洗干净出来时,逢明正好将新床单换上。随便从衣柜里拿了衣服穿好,他和抱着脏床单的逢明到楼下去用餐。今天烟雾侦测器没响了,逢明弄了几样清淡的菜,还煮了一锅的饭。他们在餐厅的圆桌坐着,吃东西的时候谁也没讲话,气氛安静非常。小羲注意到逢明胃口似乎不太好,一碗饭没扒几口便放下了。吃饱后小羲走到客厅去看电视,逢明则留在厨房洗碗。然后没多久,小羲听见厨房里传来呕吐声,是逢明将刚刚吃的东西全部吐出来的声音。他握着遥控器,垂眸,没有往逢明走进一步。他知道逢明变得不正常了,逢明几乎不睡,饭也无法下咽,明白自己是造成这一切的主因,但却无力朝逢明靠近一步,说声对不起,叫逢明释怀。就跟当初对林央一样,明知林央仍爱他,明知林央只是因为无法违抗这个社会加诸在他身上的观点才结婚,却不肯听林央的解释,反过来歇斯底里地要胁要将他们是同志恋人的身份告诉林央父母。他的作为让他们都受到了伤害。当逢明走到小羲身边坐下时,小羲却站了起来,拿着外套和钥匙准备出门。「你要去哪里?」逢明问着。小羲没有回答。去哪里都可以,只要不留在逢明的身边便行。关上了门,将那个人失望伤心的眼神留在屋里面,他开了车在外头游荡,几个小时之后,绕到了幸子家。他请幸子收留他一晚,因为雀如临走前曾经托幸子看着他,幸子对他的要求不会拒绝,幸子十分喜欢雀如,爱屋及乌下他连带受惠。小羲不知道逢明打算留到什么时候,他只是单纯地不想看见逢明。虽然留在家中的时间明显变少,但每次他一回去,总会被拖上床。爱情不是做爱次数越多就越加深的,他这样告诉逢明。但逢明急慌了,什么也听不进去。还有两天,雀如就要回来。他刚和雀如通完电话不久,就有人来按电铃。打开门,小羲发觉是幸子。幸子拿着一壶酒站在门外,微笑地说:「清酒,喝吗?」小羲转头看了眼逢明,逢明冷着脸走开,于是小羲让幸子进门来。「雀如刚刚打电话给我,她说你的声音很没精神。」幸子替小羲斟了一杯酒。原本走到厨房里的逢明跺了几回步,又寒着张脸回到客厅,并且挑小羲身旁的位置坐下,不发一语地看着幸子。他觉得这个女人很碍眼,好不容易能和小羲单独在一起的时间,却又被打扰了,这点令他十分的不高兴。所以他没有发现幸子其实是个很美丽的女人,他的眼睛不知道从什么时候起再也看不进别人,只看得见小羲。任何存在他与小羲之间的物体,无论男女,都令他觉得厌恶。幸子瞧见逢明充满敌意的眼神,她笑了笑,也替逢明斟了杯酒。「哼!」逢明别过头去。逢明气自己明明就在场,小羲还能若无其事的跟这个女人聊天。又气自己干嘛小时候不认真读书,现在来到美国英文有听没有懂,连这两个人在讲什么话都不知道,简直要呕死了。「对不起,幸子。请当他不存在吧,他向来这么没礼貌。」小羲说。「你心情不好的原因就是因为他吗?」「算是吧……」小羲喝了口温酒。「很少见你这样。原本晴朗的天空,一下子阴霾了起来,令人不习惯。」幸子不停地替小羲斟酒。「他是你的情人吧!如果吵架了,就赶快和好。你们两个人之间的气氛好僵,而且脸色也好糟。斗气是会斗出病来的。」小羲笑了笑。觉得自己完全被忽视了,逢明闷得一把抓起桌上的酒杯,将杯子里头的清酒一饮而尽。幸子见他酒杯空了,便再往里头倒酒。逢明想学小羲猛灌,但来者不拒的结果,因食无定时而早已受伤的胃被酒精刺激得疼痛不已,他捣着嘴往厨房走去,然后又将胃里头的东西完全吐进洗碗槽里。灼热剧痛的胃像抽筋似地绞着,不慎冲进气管的秽物令他咳嗽连连。虚弱的逢明在吐到什么都不剩后,滑坐在厨房的地板上,眼眶因呕吐而泛红,他用手腕处的衣料擦去眼泪,闭上眼困难地喘息。
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