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《昆仑道》作者:疯丢子【完结】竟然被吓回去了?!有人说:100年没下山的道士,请跟妖怪等同对待。意思就是,修炼了100年的道士,必然跟妖怪一样,力量强横,性情古怪,请少惹为妙。很好,我自15岁入道,昆仑山上修炼了1023年,那会是什么概念?老妖怪?‐‐我不要!师傅和我一样憋着口气没升天庭。听说当神仙规矩多,七仙女为证,她们每100年来我们家旁边的温泉泡澡都会洗一半被天兵抓回去,名曰擅离职守。泡澡都是擅离职守?那我和师傅每天都泡岂不是神仙都不用当就被炒鱿鱼了?非常好,师傅说,你为我们不升仙找到了一个绝妙的理由,那么,接下来……下山!看外表,谁会相信我和师傅都一千多岁?师傅以前笨,刚做道士居然巴巴的学理论,法术连半桶水都不如,直到四十多岁了被道观看大门的小道士三招撂倒才开始发奋图强。运气在他天资高,学的居然比那帮牙齿掉光的老道士精,竟真上了境界,生生的87岁入了法之上乘的境界,保了元神,不论法力如何,暂时不用为生老病死担忧。不运气在生源差,修了300年都没收着好徒弟,一个一个降妖伏魔80载后魂归阎王殿,看着爱徒一个接一个离他而去,想想就知道这个&ldo;三百岁&rdo;老人的凄凉。这个时候呢,偶,从天而降!我们都忘了他收养我那时候是什么时代,废话,1000多年树木都变煤炭了,只有师傅常常念叨的是发现我时那一刻触电般的感觉。他喝了口白开水说,震撼啊震撼,这么傻的娃子,都快饿死了还坐着不动,看着我在他跟前走了十多个来回也不知道叫一声。我恨!看着我快饿死了还有空走十多个来回,这个道士白做300多年人,人性都没有!他摇头摆手说没办法啊,当时好象是在乱坟岗,你亲亲师傅我忙着挖坟练法术,挖坟的时候有人性那我真是得道了……切!一副只有挖坟的时候没人性的样子,一起过了这1000多年也没见你有人性过。我白眼飘过,收拾好行李,准备下山。等等!师傅吊高嗓子在背后叫,听说现在山外那不兴叫师傅的,嫌土,咱们换个身份吧,少点麻烦不是?我想了想,也对,转身看他,意思叫他安排。他一脸奸笑,说:&ldo;徒儿啊,你知道你俗家叫什么吗?&rdo;我心里雷劈一样,靠!让你说出来我还不撞死!乘他还没开口,我冷声道:&ldo;换名字!&rdo;&ldo;哟!换名啊?&rdo;师傅一副苦恼像,&ldo;师傅我觉得原先狗蛋儿这名字不错呀!&rdo;让我撞死吧。&ldo;这样吧,你师傅我俗家姓叶,咱们以后父子相称,那你也姓叶,至于名嘛&rdo;,师傅环视四周,满眼都是昆仑山万年不变白茫茫的雪。&ldo;这一去,不知何时能回来,好歹在这住了1000多年,咱们以昆仑为名吧,我叶昆,你叶仑,咱们的道就是:昆仑道。&rdo;看家什,我们还不穷……穷才怪。入山前,师傅大肆敛财,入山后,师傅疯狂炼丹,入山时,师傅四处行医。偶尔还去山下玩&ldo;劫富济贫&rdo;‐‐劫来的都济了他的藏宝库。活了那么多年我连现在的钱长什么样都不知道,师傅吩咐过,我只管修炼,生活物品他驱役鬼操办。每次役鬼回来师傅都会大叹世态炎凉,说什么物价一天一天贵起来,哪天连道士都饿死了山下的人还有活路没?然后他就开始喷口水,对我大谈道家的仁义道德。我一般听过就忘,很久以前我就听他暗地里咕哝过:仁字头上一把刀。自此把这句话作为座右铭,因为师傅身体力行的告诉我仁慈是邪恶的。现在下了山,我还真有点怕。师傅显然也很迷茫,对于山下的世界,我们很少关注,师傅是钱的奴隶,我是修炼的奴隶。以至于我们甚至不知道役鬼从山下的衣服店里&ldo;拿&rdo;来的衣服该怎么穿。没办法,开天眼……看见一个像鸟一样却巨大无比的金属巨兽正在天上快速飞过……师徒两一起呆掉……转身,回山。&ldo;给个解释吧师傅,山下怎么回事?&rdo;一千多年的岁月已经把我磨的没脾气了,可是此刻依然怒气澎湃,他自己都什么也不知道还嚷着下山?也不怕吓死!

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