第十六章 阮瑀下(第2页)
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但阮瑀终究只是被安排做了小小的丞相仓曹掾属。每日只作翰墨文章,虽与军国事息息相关,却又好像与军国事毫不相关。因为他的政治见解,囿于墨客身份,注定不会被曹操重用,而远离前朝军议,同样会闭塞信息,难有晋升空间,更不论为君主良谋,尽毕生学问运筹帷幄了。
“此曲《猗兰操》,在缨儿十五岁及笄时,曾有琴师为奏。今日听先生一曲,方知琴中更有琴中手,您曲中之幽兰,方可真正谓之风骨。生居华屋处,零落归兰丘。如听仙乐耳暂明,缨儿今日,才算真正开悟‘成人’。”
阮瑀肃然起敬,立身作揖,我亦还揖。
紧接着继续促膝长谈,就一本《伤寒杂病论》,我将早准备好的话题抛出:
一谈生死有常;
“张仲景姓张名机,固为当世名医,相传他近年游历两京与许,若是有缘得见,阮先生可请他为您开方治病。此君与华佗,都是医界奇才,而他所作《伤寒杂病论自序》,可为深读,颇有见地。先生请看——一言生死有常,不信鬼神,与寻常好巫之庸医有天壤之别。”
阮瑀赞许:“王充《论衡》起“非圣”旗帜,于《问孔》《刺孟》篇锋芒所向直指孔孟,曰‘死生者,无象在天’‘人之所以生者,精气也,死而精气灭。能为精气者,血脉也。人死血脉竭,竭而精气灭,灭而形体朽,朽而成灰土’……”
“正是如此,”我接着阮瑀的话背道,“‘温气疫病,千户灭门,如必有命,何其秦齐等也’,‘吞药……能令人无病,不能寿之为仙’。古今多少疾疫,索人魂魄只在朝夕,又生老病死为常,上至帝王将相,下肢平民老叟,皆欲求得仙丸,乞求长生。却不知死生定数在造物主手中,人生而为人,又如何能作主为人?”
他忽而泪光闪烁,叹息道:“诚如斯,丁年难再遇,富贵不重来。良时忽一过,身体为土灰。”
……
二谈讳疾忌医,临危时又露医闹丑态;
“上位者以势压人,骄恐任性,不听医嘱,又摇荡体虚,好逸恶劳,较寻常患者更为难愈。医者父母心,本为救拯人性命的天之使者,却遭杀戮。富贵不能淫,威武不能屈,张仲景在序中,正是盛叹此等医者风骨。缨以为,华佗之死,诚为可悲。否者,曹公爱子仓舒,当有一命尚存。”
阮瑀微诧,没想到我竟然敢当着他的面提及华佗无辜被杀的事。
“女公子是曹家宗室之人,说如此,并不合时宜。”
“不,先生,您忘了。小女子姓崔。”我坚定地回答道。
三谈养生之方。
“‘当世之士,但竞逐荣势,企踵权豪,孜孜汲汲,唯名利事务;崇饰其末,忽弃其本,华其外而悴其内’,终婴疾患祸,‘厥身已毙,神明消灭,变为异物,幽潜重泉’,张仲景有此卓见,真乃医门之幸!
“皮之不存,毛将安附焉?缨虽待阁,犹思生死病老人间四苦,戚戚惶惶不可终日,‘进不能爱人知人,退不能爱身知己,遇灾值祸,身居厄地,蒙蒙昧昧,惷若游魂’。又生在钟鸣鼎食之家,而自知乱世女子无享乐全寿之命,汲汲营营,驰竟浮华,忘情徇物,但为保全本家宗族,奈何天命已定,徒为渧泣,苦不堪言矣!”
阮瑀这次听了,心情同样不能平复,沉默良久良久……
“缨儿喜欢读您那《驾出北郭门行》,真是泪下潸然。”我开口道,“那是我听过的,最悲凉的孤儿命运。其实我们每个人来到这个世界都一样,不论有父母生养与否,都是孑然寂寞的‘孤儿’。亲情伦理,温情脉脉或是冷漠,那都无关紧要了,就像孔文举说的,父母之于子女,不过容器耳。”
阮瑀咳嗽着苦笑,念道:“民生受天命,漂若河中尘。虽称百龄寿,孰能应此身?犹获婴凶祸,流离恒苦辛。瑀毕生为图生计辛劳,染病日久,每每身尽气力索,精魂靡所能。有时,出门望着故乡,依稀能瞧见陈留的蓬蒿与野莱,似乎只要一闭眼,便可得解脱,飞度泰山,魂往蓬莱。
“女公子,人生无常,生死有命,养生延年,这都是你告诉在下的,我可帮你记着了,今后莫要忘记了。莫要患得失,莫要忧荣辱,莫为世情困,一切自然,便得逍遥自在。我的时日不多了,若他年籍儿,也成了无恃无怙之孤儿,乞请女公子看在老叟的份上,多为关照开导,莫让他忧愁终生,因父母之丧而不得解脱。”
…………
那日傍晚,寒风呼啸,我亲出楼阁,出府门送别阮瑀。
高墙耸立,封闭而压抑,屋檐木梁的冰凌犹若一把利剑,直插在人们胸口。大雪虽已初停,但还是冷得让人直哈气,阮瑀抱着一屉炭火,背着布囊回家了。他蜷着手掌跟我揖别,毅然走向狭长的巷路尽头。那条巷路我曾冒雨与郭嘉初见,今日,我却偶然见到一个奇异的新儒臣。
那是一位锦帽貂裘的壮年男子,裹着黑色披裘,像一只雪后觅食的秃鹫,在风中匆匆快走闪过,与满脸沧桑的寒士阮瑀擦肩而过,形成鲜明的对比。我没看清他的脸庞,只是他腰间戴着的玉带钩,我隐约在曹丕府中见过。
他冷得直哈气,搓手走远了。
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