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我就算再沉稳淡定,听到这话的一瞬间也恨不得狠狠掐住他的脖子或者一脚把他踢成天边的流星。那个拥抱实在太过暧昧,在现场的安露也看到了。以至于此后的两三年,她一直坚定地认为我和林晋修关系非同一般,不论我找林晋修帮什么忙他都会答应,虽然实际情况是我从未开口求过林晋修任何事,但这并不妨碍她绵绵无尽的猜想。但我也有口难辩。林晋修在国外的两年,每到各种节日都会给国内的朋友寄送礼物,这其中总有我的一份,谈不上多么贵重,但总是比别人的特别。比如上一个圣诞节,他给男性朋友都送了电子产品、给女性朋友是香水,唯独寄给我的确是一盆淡粉色的少女石竹。我当时在医院里照顾父亲,每日都心力交瘁;他的那些朋友把花带给我,我抱着石竹呆呆站在走廊里,花香且美,明明知道他的存心,依然觉得百感交集。吃过饭后,我和沈钦言去了书店。买书总是件美好的事儿,徜徉在满满的书架之中,让人心情愉悦。我一把抽出早就写好的参考书目录,对照书架一本本选购,沈钦言则提着购书篮跟在我身后。&ldo;你想的很周到。&rdo;沈钦言看了看我手里的书单。&ldo;我一直觉得,下了决心就赶紧做事,一分钟也不要浪费,所以昨晚就把书单列好了。&rdo;我边说边从架子上取出一本书放到篮子里去。&ldo;难怪你说你很会自学。&rdo;&ldo;其实是被蚊子逼出来的。&rdo;&ldo;蚊子?&rdo;他诧异。&ldo;我爸是个古生物学家,他对自己的事业很痴迷,&rdo;我说,&ldo;很多时候我们都住在野外,到了晚上,我爸清理当天发掘的化石,我就趴在帐篷外的小桌上看书,写作业。你知道,在野外,高原还好,如果是在山区,蚊子又多又凶猛,简直可以把人都抬走。爸爸说,如果我能提高效率快点做完作业钻进帐篷,就好多了。我因此养成了制定计划的习惯,什么事情都希望速战速决。&rdo;沈钦言似乎忍俊不禁,但是又止住了笑,垂下头,在嘴角留下一丝浅浅的笑纹。&ldo;许真……&rdo;我有些恍惚迅速别过脸,在他说话之前把最后一本书扔进篮子里,再把书单收好,&ldo;走吧,去结账。&rdo;选好了参考书,书店外的整个城市夕阳西下,阳光如金色细沙奢侈地涂满了半个城市。我跟沈钦言说:&ldo;我想回家一趟。&rdo;&ldo;回家?&rdo;他抱着装书的纸袋,转过脸面向我,&ldo;你是本市人?&rdo;&ldo;我家就在附近……&rdo;我心思一动,&ldo;你要不要跟我一起回去?&rdo;他说:&ldo;好。&rdo;我家的公寓偏旧但却有特色,深灰色外墙红色屋顶,望之颇有历史气氛,且整个街区地段好,绿化也极好,环境舒适。父亲去世后我再也没回过家,只把一些必需品搬到了学校;此时再次走入熟悉的公寓,一时酸涩难当。拿钥匙开门进屋,这么久没回来,屋子里还是我离开时的模样‐‐窗帘拉得密密实实,一丝光都透不过来,黯淡的灰色犹如潮水淹没了这间屋子。我看到暗处的阴影微微晃动着,那是爸爸曾经在这里工作生活的痕迹。什么都在,只是人不在了。所谓的顾景伤情说的正是我现在的心情,这屋子的每个角落都有爸爸留下的影子。我脚步一个踉跄,几乎跌坐在地上。沈钦言眼疾手快地扶住我。&ldo;怎么了?&rdo;&ldo;没什么,有点难过而已。&rdo;我迅速地揉了一把脸,走过去扯开蓝色的窗帘,夕阳余光&ldo;唰&rdo;的映红了屋子。我招呼他,&ldo;随便坐。&rdo;话虽如此,但我回过头才想起,我家能坐人的地方确实不多。从面积来说,我家并不算小,但能容人的地方不多‐‐起居室、储藏室、大卧室被打通,成了爸爸的工作间,书从柜子上码到了床下,把书桌和床都挤到了角落里去。爸爸采集回来的矿石样本太多,工作间放不下,连客厅都堆放着各种箱子和柜子,按照年代、种类,整整齐齐排列着爸爸这么多年在深山、荒原里回来的化石样本。于是,偌大一间客厅只有一张小沙发可以坐人,被我用布遮上了,我扯开布,再次招呼他坐下。&ldo;呃,大概有灰,我两三个月没回家了。&rdo;

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