16 擦灰尘上（第1页）
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也许算不上吵架，但这次谈话之后他们快二十天没联络，说不上长，之前陆介明忙的时候比这更长的空白也不是没有，只是司苓总是有一种若有若无的预感——这段本就说不清道不明的关系快要走到尽头，于是开始看房考虑什么时候搬出去。
搬出去也好，现在工作也很忙，除了原本的文案策划和一些活动主持，对何原的那篇文章让司苓微博和小红书都涨了不少关注，用叶芃的话来说就是“起号了”。叶芃也带她录播客，让她接一些推广，司苓按着她给的提纲发言，照着pr给的要求拍摄和发广告，手忙脚乱又按部就班地走到新的生活里。
短暂的空闲里偶尔也会想起陆介明，她过了好多天才去拆那个纸袋，淡绿钻石剔透璀璨，司苓合上盒子，连着外包装一起放进了抽屉。即使是有上次不太愉快的聊天，她也觉得陆介明是不错的、至少是出手大方的——她本来想说是恋人——生硬转成了出手大方的人，也对，有钱有闲的人才有资格为感情烦恼和一掷千金，普通人拥有的东西本来就很少了，不得不计较一些。
司苓对小时候的记忆总是模糊，像是蒙了一层灰，也许本来就有灰——她读奥威尔，书里写灰尘是最势利的东西，当你衣着光鲜时它退避三舍，当你衣着破烂时它就从四面八方猛扑而来。这只是表面的贫乏，长期拮据最大的坏处其实是感兴趣的东西都逐渐模糊，本来能尝试的事也会因为经济上的考虑习惯自我拒绝。
陆介明身上毫无这种局促感，锋利舒展得像另一个世界的人。才相识时司苓当然不会没有心动，从履历到身段都漂亮的男人礼貌又留有余地对她示好，真是好彩，像是中了大乐透，也许更像是巨额卡帐，还款日难以捉摸。加上她想不出来陆介明喜欢她什么，当然也问不出口，一是怕只是暂时的新鲜感，二来她见过太多面目模糊的人，知道怯懦自卑的人看起来有多没魅力。刚开始是硬撑着有来有回，后面习惯了，表面上仿佛真的做到了fakeituntilmakeit。
手机毫无预兆地响起来，现在还打电话的情况不多，看清号码司苓心头一紧，连忙接起来，电话那头传来母亲平静的声音：“你什么时候回来？外婆得癌了。”
每个字都清晰，司苓听到自己的声音：“稍等，我看下时间，尽量今明两天。你先把病历发给我。”挂断电话之后先找叶芃告假，叶芃爽快应允，叮嘱司苓有需要帮忙的地方尽管开口，司苓应下。
最近一班飞机在半夜，落地之后地铁已经停了，她订了次日凌晨的一班，中午能到家，订完机票开始详细看病历，甲状腺癌中晚期，能切除，情况不算太糟。
收拾完行李才下午四点，日光还是明晃晃的，蝉鸣聒噪，风穿过开着的窗，带起米白色纱质窗帘，司苓坐在地毯上，面前横着刚收好的行李箱，第一次发现房间这么大，她自己的物品这么少。
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