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&ldo;不疼。&rdo;我的注意力被别的事情所牵引,观察着他下身问,&ldo;你会疼吗?&rdo;&ldo;啊?&rdo;&ldo;那个,&rdo;我指着他的器官所在,问,&ldo;变那么大,血管得膨胀到极限了,不疼?&rdo;他瞪大眼盯着我,似乎我问了有关机密的什么问题。我补充说,&ldo;主要是我觉得你的器官比例相对突出……&rdo;&ldo;你说你没试过有反应,是真的?&rdo;他的脸色变得正经起来。&ldo;是啊。&rdo;我点头,&ldo;可能发育期被关着的缘故,我的身高体能各方面都有问题,性特征也不明显。&rdo;他放下我的脚,起身坐到我身边,揽着我问:&ldo;刚刚我碰你那里,有感觉吗?&rdo;&ldo;有吧,毕竟不是神经坏死。&rdo;我说,&ldo;可也没变成一根小棍子。&rdo;他忍不住笑了,柔声问:&ldo;想变成小棍子?&rdo;&ldo;男性不都该那样吗?&rdo;我反问。&ldo;男人不只靠下面那根的表现,&rdo;他伸出五指屈起拳说,&ldo;很多时候得靠脑袋和拳头。&rdo;我打了个呵欠说:&ldo;成为一个雄性真麻烦。&rdo;&ldo;那女人还得生育呢,更麻烦。&rdo;我深表赞同,点头说:&ldo;人类就是麻烦啊。&rdo;&ldo;小老头,又装。&rdo;他揉揉我的脑袋,问,&ldo;要不要睡了?&rdo;&ldo;嗯。&rdo;我闭上眼,问,&ldo;我明天早上想吃甜的肉包,有吗?&rdo;&ldo;叉烧包?&rdo;袁牧之把我塞到被子里,说,&ldo;好啊,这个容易。&rdo;&ldo;张家涵做这个好吃。&rdo;我说。&ldo;呵呵,想张哥了吧?&rdo;他摸着我的头说,&ldo;那过俩天回去?&rdo;&ldo;我没想他。&rdo;我跟他说明,&ldo;我只是顺便提到他。&rdo;&ldo;行行,随便你。&rdo;我迷迷糊糊地伸出手,抱住袁牧之的胳膊问:&ldo;为什么要啃嘴唇?不卫生。&rdo;&ldo;那个没有不卫生,是喜欢你的表现。&rdo;袁牧之躺到我身边说,&ldo;不喜欢?&rdo;&ldo;谈不上喜欢不喜欢,&rdo;我说,&ldo;但不卫生。&rdo;&ldo;呵呵,那我下回刷过牙再啃?&rdo;&ldo;不啃不行吗?&rdo;&ldo;不行。&rdo;袁牧之把嘴唇贴到我脸颊上,带着笑意说,&ldo;你会喜欢的。&rdo;&ldo;张家涵不会啃我,所以他不喜欢我?&rdo;&ldo;那个不是一回事,睡吧,明天我给你解释。&rdo;袁牧之笑着说。我正要入睡,突然门口传来一阵喧闹声和敲门声,袁牧之立即从床上起来,摸出枕头下的手枪,压住我的身子低声说:&ldo;别动,我先过去看看。&rdo;我点点头。他悄无声息地走到门口,沉声问:&ldo;谁?&rdo;门外传来一个男孩的哭泣声,那个人抽抽噎噎地问:&ldo;袁哥,是我,我是浩子,你让我进来好不好,我有急事找……&rdo;袁牧之收起枪,面带不豫地打开门,那个名为浩子的少年如炮弹一样扑过来张开双臂紧紧抱住袁牧之的腰哭闹着说:&ldo;大哥,大哥你别不要我,大哥,你别不管我啊,我知道错了,呜呜,我都知道错了……&rdo;我不耐地捂住耳朵,缩回被子里闭眼睡觉。名为浩子的少年这次发出的噪音格外刺耳,因为他总在翻来覆去说一句话,那就是&ldo;你不要不管我&rdo;。我觉得这句话首先从心理建制上就反应说话人的脆弱,他的内心太过卑怯,以至于讨好他人,按照他人的标准来建构自己的意义成为一种下意识选择。而一旦对象对他的行为不作回应,便自然而然产生恐慌,产生被对方遗弃的紧张不安。但他们之间为何会是一种遗弃与被遗弃的关系?他们难道不是俩个独立自主的个体吗?我不由产生了点好奇,偷偷从被子里钻出头来,正看到名为浩子的少年抱着袁牧之的腰哭得涕泪交加,看起来格外丑陋,而且脸上糊着的也不知道是眼泪还是鼻涕,我嫌恶地皱了眉,坐起来把被子裹在头上,说:&ldo;他好脏。&rdo;那位浩子的哭声一下停止,他瞪大眼,像是刚刚发现我的存在一样露出难以置信的表情,然后,他的眼神变了,变得无比怨毒,就如冷血动物要攻击时闪现的狠利目光一般,看得我大惑不解。我想我只是让他不要再重复无意义的唠叨而已,为何他看起来像要将我生吞活剥一样。
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