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她紧握着手心,看着我的眼睛渐渐开始闪躲,低下头去瓮声说:&ldo;我赔还不起。&rdo;我伸手过去,握住她略微冰凉的手:&ldo;赔不起你就接受我的方式,和我结婚,一辈子做我老婆来还债。&rdo;她不说话,只是低着头,良久才说:&ldo;你别再逼我了,让我想想。&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;求婚失败了。我苦涩的笑了,我是不是挺可悲的?事实上,我这么急着要结婚也是事出有因。这次遇袭不是爸妈所作所为的全部,他们会出下策找越尹麻烦,是因为先在尹阿姨那里吃了瘪。他们原本的计划是从尹阿姨那里下手,先害她欠债,她是越尹的妈妈,母债女还,越尹自然会把一切都背起来,他们有谈判的筹码就能为所欲为了。他们找人和尹阿姨打牌,趁机下套,但尹阿姨看着爱财却怎么都不上钩,赢钱不喜,输钱不悲,始终保持着一个底限,下套的再怎么诱惑也不上当。对于越家发生的事我并不算很清楚,只是隐约听说了一些。尹阿姨以前和越尹爸爸感情很好,越尹的名字也是二人姓氏得来。她家出事以后孤儿寡母的在一起,看着就怪可怜的。我爸妈打主意打到尹阿姨身上,我真的感到很愤怒。这件事还是纪允查出来的,他做事一贯比我稳妥,他把这些资料给我的时候,我的震惊可想而知。可以想象,如若不是尹阿姨够精,我和越尹也许早就被这些卑鄙的伎俩拆散了。所以我不能再坐以待毙,我不能再给他们伤害越尹的机会,我要把她纳入我的羽翼之下,这样我才能保护她。可她不懂,她不懂我的忧虑不懂我的害怕,我是那么害怕失去了她,只要能把她留在我身边,什么方法我都愿意一试。这一切,我不能对她说,也不想对她说,我怕吓跑了她,现在的她就是一只惊弓之鸟,杯弓蛇影糙木皆兵,再经不起任何惊吓。很多时候,我都觉得茫然极了,我已经无法准确的描述什么是爱情,我只知道这种感情会让人疲惫,心痛,可没了它,我就像死了一样,心跳不会了,连呼吸都会痛,所以再苦再难也要坚持。死过一次的人,再也经不起第二次。自从越尹说要好好想想,她就不再愿意见我,但她还是会接我的电话,我总是尽量说些轻松的话题,她也努力的接话,但总有些有心无力,无话可说的沉默常常在我们之中出现。我不气馁,她没有安全感,那我就一点一点的给,我不再逼她,我只是耐心的等。每次在听筒里听到她均匀的呼吸,即使不说话,我也觉得安心。只要她还安好,一切都无所谓。近来程阳总是寻不着人,每次电话过去,他都声音疲惫,他家小闺女发肺炎了,住着院,家里老太又老毛病犯了,这段时间他们两口子都在医院里挂着。他的电话没接着,我倒是意外的接到了叶依敏的电话。她和我说话的口气仿佛熟稔,轻松又雀跃的声音说:&ldo;纪时,你今天忙吗?来医院帮我做件事怎么样?&rdo;我脑海里突然有了不好的预感,曾几何时陪她流产的记忆还历历在目,我有些紧张的问:&ldo;怎么了?&rdo;她咯咯笑着:&ldo;你来了就知道了,没什么大事。&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;越尹我知道,逃避绝对是处理问题最懦弱的方法,可是在我整理好头绪之前,我只能选择逃避。我两点一线的过着日子,无聊又充实。每天都会接到纪时的电话,他努力的迁就着我,说着我感兴趣的话题,可我们还是偶尔会无话可说,握着没有说话声的听筒,哪怕只是静静聆听着纪时的呼吸声也觉得满足,他还活着,离我很近,我还能回想起他肌ròu的触觉,想起他身上独有的味道。这样,就很好。周末,不用加班,我突然疯狂的想念起纪时,也不知是怎么了,就突然很想他,我甚至冲动的想去见见他,但我最终还是没有那样的勇气,只是拨了他的电话,我想听听他的声音。他的电话一直打不通,他也许在忙,语音提示一直告诉我他已关机,我有些失望的收起了手机。手机刚刚收起,电话便响了起来,我以为是纪时给我回过来了,一脸欣喜的拿出来。而屏幕上闪烁的名字却是纪允。方才雀跃的情绪一瞬间便消弭,期待落空的感觉像一万只爪子在心里挠。难受极了。&ldo;喂。&rdo;我努力让自己的声音听起来没事。
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