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“垂头丧气啥?”捶桌,我瞪大眼睛,学周扒皮腔调,“晌午既过,睡至日上三竿的懒人们也该起床了。解决完午饭,该奏乐的继续奏乐、该拉客的继续拉客。至于我……我亲自出马,不信牵不回一位豪阔主~~”

铛啷铛啷——

锦绣街路口、闹市正中央的嘈杂噪音,源于我卖力敲击铜锣。

路人们纷纷扭脖,目光诧愕。

反正本姑娘罩了面纱、遮住尊容,无所谓丢脸不丢脸。笑眯了眼,我愈发用力敲锣,直至广大群众受不了噪音刺激而以手捂耳,我才收手。

“若想混得好,每天须洗澡。”轻咳两声,我卖命吆喝,“诸位,为回馈盛京城百姓对威武将军府的长期关爱,今天开张大吉,凡携带家眷前往【渭水泱泱】沐浴者,按人头算、通通七折优惠~”

切——

不屑唏嘘,围观者纷纷摇首。

“诶,别走别走,话还没说完~~”被众人鄙视,我索性加大宣传力度,“【渭水泱泱】汤室,乃怀王拓跋平原出资所建。你们、你们不想一睹左监国尊容么?”

如潮人群,置若罔闻散开。

泪流满面……o(>_

小栓哥,你的名号居然不管用??

拼了!今天不成功便成仁!

卖力敲锣,我吼得比山响,“左监国寂寞已久,想纳妃啦~谁家女子拥有沉鱼落雁、出水芙蓉之貌,便可迈入怀王府、枕伴殿下侧!”

古代有原子弹么?没有。

然而,此言既出,喧闹非凡的锦绣街,顿时陷入一片死寂,彷佛被原子弹轰炸过。

糟糕,爆发前的沉默(⊙o⊙)哇!

犹然记得当年‘绣球盛况’,下意识地,我往街角闪去——

“渭水泱泱?!”沉寂人群,刹那间爆发出无数惊讶,一扫而空方才的鸦雀无声。

“对对!”小栓哥,算我对不起你=0=强捺愧疚心,我点头如捣蒜,得瑟笑,“【渭水泱泱】乃怀王首肯、威武将军府全权代理之店铺,兼具选美事宜。殿下他喜好柔弱无骨女子,哪家女儿……”

话,尚未说完整,已然被纷至沓来的沉重脚步声所淹埋。目瞪口呆的我,看着一波接一波、如洪水猛兽般朝东南方向席卷而至的大叔大婶们,他们她们眼冒红光、步疾如风掣,各个为【渭水泱泱】马首是瞻。

时逢乱世,王爷还不如王妃来得诱惑人。

挥舞小手帕,我几乎喜极而泣——

去吧,都去吧,暖洋洋的热水澡等着你们!

澡堂铺,今天回本鸟~(≧▽≦)~

“杨排风!”惊喜,尚未过去,振聋发聩的叱责,隔了三丈距离扑面而来,“你胡言乱语些什么?!”

额滴神~

跨轿而出、一袭赭黄衣袍的俊美男子,不是拓跋小栓,还会是谁?!

“杨排风……你……”头顶浓厚乌云,虎虎生威的平原君,咬牙切齿道,“好大的胆子!居然当街造谣?!既然你诚心找死,本王索性成全!”

“我……我……”此时不逃逸,更待何时??冷汗淋漓,我瑟缩了身子往偏巷闪去,讪讪解释道,“漂亮姐夫……将来,店铺该上缴的税收,我一个铜板都不会少。”

拔腿便跑。

“站住!给本王站住!”身后,是不依不饶的追赶。

(⊙_⊙)耶?肺痨之人,跑得挺快嘛。

连你都甩不掉,我当年岂不是白练了三千米??思及此,我全速窜逃。

……

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