第一章幽默男人(第2页)
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“就在漂亮女子哈哈大笑时,那男子居然对她又鞠了一躬,然后叫了她一声妈妈,顿时漂亮女子勃然大怒,骂道:“你有毛病吧,神经病!”边骂边牵起她的狗儿走了!”
“哈哈哈,大叔,你还真的挺搞笑的,肚子都给我笑疼了!大叔,我叫橙子,你叫什么名字呢?”
“我叫卫龙,卫生纸的卫,龙争虎斗的龙!”
“哈哈,大叔,好名字!你现在在干什么,在家里吗?”
“沒有,我自已开了家超市,在超市里,雨太大了,走不了,等雨小点再说。”
“大叔,你一个人在超市里可要小心,你这几天看新闻没,有两个杀人犯潜入了京海,你可当心点!”
“两个杀人犯潜逃我知道,可是专家说他们不可能潜入京海,叫大家放心!”
“专家的话,你都能相信。砖家和叫兽的话你要相信,那母猪都可以上树。
反正据可靠消息,两杀人犯已流窜到京海。你没见京海到处是荷枪实弹的警察,特警吗?”
“哈哈,好啊,我看还悬赏了五十万,要是让我遇到了就好了,我就发财了,到时候我请你去吃大餐!”
“嘻嘻,大叔,你真是老鼠给猫当三陪,挣钱不要命。
那两个家伙手上都有凶器,都杀死了六,七个人了,都是亡命之徒,你还希望遇上他们!
大叔,你不应该叫幽默男人,你应该叫头铁男人!”
“哈哈,小橙子,你可别小瞧我!骑白马的不一定是王子,也有可能是唐僧;有翅膀的不一定是天使,也有可能是鸟人。
我是真人不露相,露相非真人。”
“嘻嘻,大叔,我发现你有个优点特别明显!”
“什么优点,这么快就发现我优点了?快说来听听!”
“嘻嘻,你最大优点就是脸皮厚,自吹自擂!”
“哈哈,小橙子你有眼光,居然发现了我的最大优点,他可救过我的命!”
“喔,脸皮厚还救了你的命,大叔,说来听听看。”
“我以前当过兵,专门负责喂猪。有一次遇到紧急任务,把我也调去参加。
结果一颗子弹正好打在我脸上,当时我以为我死定了。等战友急急忙忙把我送到军医院,叫医生赶快抢救我,脸上中枪,肯定很危险。
结果医生一看,一下笑了,说子弹还有大半露在外面,根本没事。众战友都目噔口呆,说怎么会出现这种事情,医生来了一句,他脸皮太厚了!”
“哈哈,你脸皮确实挺厚的,子弹都打不穿,太厉害了。看样子脸皮厚还是有好处,可以挡子弹。”
“哈哈,就是,后来上面专家还专门跑来研究我的脸皮到底是什么物质构成的,准备用来做防弹衣,说这样的防弹衣绝对效果杠杠的!”
卫龙边聊天边给自已冲了一杯咖啡,自从退伍以后,见惯了战场上血腥场面,见惯了战友的生离死别,卫龙性格发生了很大改变,他现在的追求就是四个字“享受人生”。
就在这时,门外传来了急促的脚步声,接着从卷帘门里钻进来了两个人。
只见两人全身被雨淋湿完了,前面那人是一个身高一米八左右的大汉,杀气腾腾,面露凶光,手上居然拿着一把西瓜刀。
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