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‐‐童谣全程夹着尾巴当王八，屁都不敢放一个。等陆思诚坐下来，开了一把游戏，她这才在自己的位置上坐下来，把椅子往旁边挪了挪，同时听见陆思诚那边传来三个字：&ldo;创可贴。&rdo;童谣：&ldo;……&rdo;抬头看了眼身边的人，眼睛盯着屏幕并没有挪开过，她&ldo;喔喔&rdo;两声从购物袋里拿出创可贴，把自己那血肉模糊的脚后跟糊上，然后打开直播‐‐直播间很快热闹起来，摄像头里的观众大老爷发现今天的silg大大整个人都坐得很歪，几乎快要掉出摄像头边缘，于是纷纷问她这是咋回事。童谣：&ldo;旁边位置有杀气，气息之凛冽，快要割伤我了。&rdo;【……妈的智障。】【这么个智障怎么就能虎得能把那些个小碧池揍得嗷嗷的呢？我喜欢。】【hhhhhhhh老婆咋回事啊？】【你还没从寒冰地狱回来么？】【下午有粉丝说你们明明和好了啊，在停车场，你队队长护犊子护得飞起。】童谣：&ldo;是是是，有那么一瞬间我是从寒冰地狱回来了的，然而现在我又回去了‐‐不过这次不是我的锅，是你饼那个小毛畜生‐‐对就是那只作死的猫，它趁着基地没人gank了我队队长的鱼……&rdo;童谣说着看了一眼旁边戴着耳机打排位的陆思诚，吞咽了一口唾液，又扫了眼弹幕‐‐童谣：&ldo;我道歉了，道歉必须是要的，不然呢？&rdo;童谣：&ldo;然而道歉有用的话还要警察干什么。&rdo;童谣：&ldo;所以你饼坐牢了，嗯，我把它关在笼子里啦‐‐面壁思过，责令改正，再有下次就把它遣返回乡下了……不是我狠心，人家金鱼先来的，好好在这游来游去游了几个世纪，你凭啥一言不合吃了人家，对吧？&rdo;童谣一边说着一边看了眼陆思诚的鱼缸，鱼缸水面上还飘着几根猫毛，童谣看得一阵心虚，伸手将鱼缸拖过来‐‐陆思诚摘下耳机：&ldo;干什么？&rdo;童谣用手指在水面上搅了搅，然后拿出来：&ldo;猫毛……我给你换个水去。&rdo;陆思诚面无表情道：&ldo;放下。&rdo;童谣将鱼缸端端正正地摆了回去。晚上临睡之前，她用陆思诚带着耳机也能听见的声音告诉所有人大饼被关禁闭，没有自由也没有罐头，直到它认识到自己的错误‐‐经过猫笼子时，大饼的猫脸挤在猫笼子上，肥肉横飞喵喵叫，童谣咬咬牙狠心从它身边路过了：这时候如果还护犊子，明天看不到新生太阳的大概就不止大饼一只了。童谣上楼洗澡，洗完澡出来看见今阳的微信‐‐【阿毛它娘：……大饼作死了？】【阿毛它娘：你队队长在某宝搜食人鱼活体鱼苗……搜得好认真，老子笑得手机都砸脸上了。】童谣：&ldo;……&rdo;……这一夜对于童谣来说是个不眠夜。她不仅必须习惯&ldo;猫没睡在身边&rdo;的孤单，还要随时随地担心她的猫和她的队长单独被关在楼下会不会搞出什么血色事件‐‐整夜噩梦，于是【圆滚滚的胖：为什么被我看。】【圆滚滚的胖：为什么又被我看到。】【圆滚滚的胖：老子一年三百六十五天大概只有不超过五天的时间会早起，为什么就偏偏要选这几天残害我的眼睛‐‐……等下，还是其实你们天天都……】【圆滚滚的胖：？_?】【圆滚滚的胖：我要去报警。】手中的手机一直在响，童谣眼睁睁地看着它的内容越跑越歪越过分，终于忍无可忍扔了陆思诚的手机反手一把扣住摁在自己脑袋上的手往旁边拉‐‐陆思诚做梦梦见有面目狰狞的女鬼拉着他的手要跟他卧轨殉情，心中咯噔一下猛地一惊反手扣住那女鬼冰凉的手‐‐并在同一时间从睡梦中惊醒，他猛地睁开眼，一眼看见基地那只大猫正蹲在茶几上炯炯有神地瞅着他，而他手中反手扣住的是……他家中单的手。此时，她一只手撑在沙发边缘，身体倾斜，发丝凌乱像是刚遭遇非人虐待，另外一只手手腕被他牢牢扣在手中，白皙的手腕赫然被捏出了红红的五指印‐‐此时童谣俯身，两人离得极近。陆思诚：&ldo;……&rdo;陆思诚：&ldo;喂咦！&rdo;那张习惯性面无表情的俊脸难得见到一丝惊慌，男人惊慌地扔开了手中拽着的手腕整个人弹起来后退缩到了沙发的角落里：就好像他受到了多大的惊吓。童谣：&ldo;？？？？？？？&rdo;陆思诚：&ldo;干什么你？别人睡觉的时候你干什么凑那么近？&rdo;童谣抬起手看了眼自己手腕上的红爪印，又看了眼满脸受到轻薄一般的队长……强忍住一大嘴巴子抽过去的冲动，指指楼上，面瘫着脸道：&ldo;早上我从楼上下来想看看我的猫是不是还活着……&rdo;陆思诚深褐色的瞳孔微微缩聚，还是一副不信任的模样：&ldo;没事看猫是不是还活着？这是什么借口，好好的猫为什么会死？&rdo;童谣&ldo;喔&rdo;了声点点头，心想我还说得不够清楚是吧？于是又重读：&ldo;早上我从楼上下来想看看我的猫是不是被你掐死了塞马桶准备冲走‐‐&rdo;陆思诚：&ldo;……&rdo;童谣：&ldo;结果发现你开着排位睡着了，直播时间混了几个小时，满直播间的问号和打斗地主的人，我就替你关了‐‐然后出于烂好心，又怕你冻着，于是我找了个毛毯给你。&rdo;童谣指了指陆思诚膝盖上的毛毯。童谣：&ldo;正给你盖的时候，你一言不合把我的脸摁你肚子上了。&rdo;童谣指了指自己的脑袋：&ldo;还揉乱我头发。&rdo;陆思诚：&ldo;怎么可能？&rdo;童谣：&ldo;你以为我是大饼。&rdo;陆思诚：&ldo;……怎么‐‐&rdo;童谣：&ldo;最后，落幕戏是小胖看见了。&rdo;童谣捡起陆思诚的手机，扔给他‐‐男人伸手稳稳接过，看了一眼自己的微信，脸色由茫然变惊讶最后归于沉寂，在童谣严肃的目光注视下，他拨通了一个电话，电话那边响了两声被人接起，陆思诚&ldo;喂&rdo;了一声说：&ldo;胖子？你刚才看错了，我们什么也没做‐‐要做什么谁在客厅做？你没带脑子我带了。&rdo;
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