第75节(第3页)
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“吱呀”一声,二人头顶传来声响动,叫裴钧顿时小心收声。
他应着这声抬头去看,只见是姜越正从高高的甲板上顺梯走下来,与他二人尚隔了十来步远,此时正与他对上目光,疑惑地望向他二人:“聊什么呢?”
裴钧并没有回答姜越。他只是目色深深地一路看着姜越走下船来,在姜越一声声走下木梯向他行来的脚步声中,压低声音凑近梅林玉耳边道:“那你爹也年年叫你回河西去,你又为什么不回去?”
梅林玉听言一愣,此时看看裴钧认真的神色,又顺由裴钧说这话时温和的目光,看向了徐徐向他们走来的姜越,倏地便明悟了裴钧的意思,叹出一声:“原来哥哥同我便跟这船是一样儿的,总归是抛锚拴死了呗,锚不动,咱两就谁也别想动。”
他这话说完,姜越已走至裴钧身边,听见这动与不动的是全然不明白,可正想问问他二人在说什么,梅林玉却赶忙推说要去备办崔宇的丧事,告了声失陪,就脚底抹油地溜出船坞去了。
他一走,姜越所有的疑窦便倾给了裴钧,眼见裴钧也摸摸鼻尖儿转过身去,忙一把拽住裴钧胳膊问:“你同梅少爷究竟说什么了?神神秘秘。”
裴钧由得他拉住,瞥眼见这方坞中无人,便暂且同他耍起赖道:“他就是问问我有多喜欢你,没别的。”
姜越松开手失笑:“又胡说。”
“才不是胡说。”裴钧猛地捉了他手放在自己胸口上,还在他手背上拍了拍:“我就这么跟他说呢,说我这心呀,是被晋王爷给拴稳当了,扎实在了,可跑不掉了,任谁拿金山银山也换不走。”说着他自然而然又抬手放在姜越胸上,冲姜越一眨眼睛问:“那晋王爷您呢?”
姜越不料他忽作袭胸之举,下意识就退开半步避过他手,脖根已微微发红,转开脸极低声道:“我怎么样,你还不知么。”
“我还就真不知了。”裴钧一抬手便把他拉回原位,盯着他面具下的双眼,严正地问:“姜越,你怎么总这么害羞啊?”
他张手把姜越环住,皱眉不解道:“莫非你根本不喜欢我?这只是我一厢情愿的?”
姜越目光一急:“自然不是。”
裴钧委屈巴巴地瘪嘴凑近了,又问:“那你就是不想同我亲近,嫌弃我了?”
姜越忙道:“绝无此事。”
“那你为何总避着我?”裴钧纳了闷儿,圈着姜越的手也愈发收紧了些,“从前咱还在司部做事儿的时候,请示问安、外出巡察,你倒时不时还捏我一下、搀我一把的,怎么眼下亲近起来了,你反倒却不敢了似的?”
“我……”姜越一时张口难言,待踟蹰再三,才低声道:“裴钧,难道你一直不知,我实则……是怕你么?”
“怕我?”裴钧一愣,只道这是他从未料到过的答案,这时揽着姜越是人都懵了,更加不解起来,“为什么?”
姜越此时怕他误会,自然想急着同他解释清楚,可他十年来的复杂心路又绝难以三言两语道明,是故眼下猛一牵丝,不免乱了心神不知如何择言相告,片息后,却似乎想到什么,忽地便一脸正肃地拉起裴钧,大步往船坞外的码头走去。
午后的阳光洒满运河,码头上各处走动着搬运货箱的赤膊工头,一艘艘大大小小的货船按位停放,其间甚或能瞥见一二个洋人。
二人来到石砌的河口边,站在一艘搁浅的大船前一眼朝水面望去,只见河中波光闪动,岸边杨柳飘摇,翠绿的草枝漫衬着金光,在水中晃荡出一片灿青的色泽。
大船挡去了他们身后人来人往的嘈嘈,临河处尚算僻静。姜越引裴钧走至水边,看向河面垂柳沉默一时,忽地认真道:“裴钧,你于我,便似这天光于水了。”
裴钧看看河里的水影,又看看他,不得其意:“什么意思?”
姜越道:“若无天光,岸边柳叶青得再好,也绝然照不去水中半分颜色。故水能有绿,波光粼粼,盖天光之赐,故天光之令人生畏、令人生彩,便似你,而我只是无色之水罢了。”
他抬眼望向天际的日光,自嘲般徐徐道:“实则我自幼对你多是激赏与崇敬,却因从小与你误会,便难以同你亲近。后来我渐渐起了心意,近你一步是不能够,太远又舍不得,便唯独想在政事中与你留一分交集,故才点了你来京兆作少尹。可就连这个,你也总当我是要害你、伤你。由是我便更不敢再近你一步了,怕你恼我、恨我,将我推拒得更远。如此怕着,畏着,竟也十年过去,如今要叫我一时不怕,又岂是易事?”
裴钧走向他一步,在盛烈的日光中弯眸看向他:“那你现在还怕么?”
姜越想了想,认真说:“怕。”
裴钧握起他手来,放轻声音问:“我已然过来了,同你在一处了,你还怕什么?”
姜越沉息一时,望向他道:“我怕你走。”
“瞎胡想。”裴钧在身后杂乱喧嚣的码头装卸声中飞速凑到他耳尖一亲,低声在他耳畔道,“你怕是不知道,我这辈子大约是专程来赖上你的,走是不可能了,你要是还不同我好,我岂不该疯了?”
“那我便是已经疯了。”姜越抬手覆在他手背上,凝目望向他,音色低沉下来,“前几日只要一想到你被困在宫里,我是一刻都坐不住,一刻都安顿不了。”他的眼神在光影下一闪,出声忽而一颤:“我根本不敢想,你要是有什么三长两短——”
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