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&ldo;我在想,就你动手术的时候,我一直在想,万一你要出不来怎么办,万一那门一推开,你头上罩着白布被推出来怎么办,我没法遏制住这种念头,然后我确认了一件事,要你出不来了,我会杀了刚刚那个古怪的教授,尽管我心里清楚那怪不得他,但我知道我会那么做。原因不是迁怒,而是在他手下,不管出于什么原因,我确实丧失了你。&rdo;&ldo;我不能接受这种事,王铮,如果那样我最后悔的,就是当时没在病房里上你,为什么要考虑那种无聊的念头?什么我要不要你做我的情人之类,什么我会不会爱上你,会不会跟你长久这么相处之类,这种想法真是浪费时间。毫无疑问,人就是在这些浪费时间,令你犹豫不决的磨叽想法中隐藏自己的懦弱,为自己的无能寻找遮羞布,或者更确切地说,为自己的错失寻找合理性理由。其实对我来说,只需要承认一个事实就足够,只需要直面它,用手发力把它拽过来,只需这样就足够。&rdo;徐文耀轻笑了下,捧起王铮的手,贴在自己脸颊上,微微闭眼,然后睁开,目光执拗地问:&ldo;你想知道吗?&rdo;王铮有些懵了,他的脑子还很迷糊,但不否认,被人这么拉着手,对方温暖的体温透过手心传过来很受用,也很舒服,他顺应徐文耀的思路,软声问:&ldo;是什么?&rdo;&ldo;我要你。&rdo;&ldo;啊?&rdo;徐文耀笑了,像放下包袱一样舒展眉心,笑容中带了促狭,眨眨眼问:&ldo;吃惊?&rdo;&ldo;确实有点。&rdo;王铮有些无力地扶额说,&ldo;你,你说这句话,我不得不理解成情爱意味上的,而且,我个人觉得,这三个字挺言情剧,不适合你。&rdo;徐文耀大笑,更紧地抓住他的手,说:&ldo;只是语言,只是它刚好表达了我想说的意思,不用那么计较,如果今天人类用&lso;沙琪玛&rso;表达同样的意思,那么我也会喊。&rdo;&ldo;那你喊沙琪玛吧。&rdo;王铮无奈地说,&ldo;起码听起来还能吃。&rdo;徐文耀笑得肆意,把王铮的手揉来揉去,最后忍不住放在唇边轻吻着,吻着又开始咬,像发现新玩具的孩童,乐此不疲。&ldo;行了,&rdo;王铮忍无可忍地说,&ldo;这是手,不是面团。&rdo;徐文耀嘿嘿笑着放下他的手,凑过去说:&ldo;就住你那吧,我喜欢你布置的房子,感觉很好。&rdo;王铮怒瞪他,有气无力地说:&ldo;我们这算怎么回事?&rdo;&ldo;该怎么回事,算怎么回事。&rdo;徐文耀笑呵呵地说,&ldo;我动一下你书房啊,把阳台改改,变成能喝茶谈天的地方怎么样,放个躺椅,你要晒太阳看书也方便。&rdo;&ldo;徐哥,我真没准备要跟谁好……&rdo;&ldo;那就继续准备着,不着急。&rdo;徐文耀热心地误导他,&ldo;你可以理解成多了个全职看护,多了个说话的可信任的好朋友,多了个能给你解闷,能帮你干体力活的哥哥,当然,还多了个会发声会移动的喂药器,人医生可说了,你有很多康复要吃的药呢。&rdo;王铮不为所动,直直看他,说:&ldo;我还是觉得不能理解。&rdo;&ldo;那就别理解,不能理解就别理解,&rdo;徐文耀笑着说,&ldo;只需要接受就好,我应该也没引起你反感吧,甚至有好感对不对?那么,放着一个这样的人在家里,不是对你隐私空间的入侵,相反,是给你开拓生活多样性的可能。好了,别想那么多,好好睡一觉。&rdo;徐文耀摸摸他的头,柔声问,&ldo;明天就能喝粥了,想吃什么粥?&rdo;&ldo;随便吧。&rdo;王铮恹恹地闭上眼,轻声说,&ldo;拜托你,念一段书来听。&rdo;&ldo;好。&rdo;徐文耀拿起床头摆着的书,翻开来,开始轻声读道:&ldo;从很小的时候开始,我便相信我的世界存在一些我看不见的东西……&rdo;他的声音温柔潮湿,想汩汩流淌的地下河水,宁静而舒缓,就在这样的氛围中,王铮觉得疲倦涌了上来,刚刚的纷乱烦恼似乎静静飘走,就在他想入睡的一刻,病房门上忽然被人规则地轻叩三下。王铮猛然惊醒,睁开眼,哑声问:&ldo;谁?&rdo;&ldo;不知道,我去看看。&rdo;徐文耀合上书说,&ldo;如果是你的学生或同事,我先打发了啊。&rdo;&ldo;别,请进来,我跟他们打声招呼,礼数总是要的。&rdo;

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