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&ldo;可是人是会变的。&rdo;王铮涩声说。&ldo;是啊,人是会变的,我变得不满足,我想要一些更为刺激的感觉,而且,于书澈跟你完全不一样,我当时看到他,心里想……&rdo;&ldo;够了,你怎么爱上他的,不用跟我讲,我没兴趣听。&rdo;王铮皱眉打断他。&ldo;对不起。&rdo;李天阳苦笑了一下,往上扒拉了头发,说,&ldo;等我们在一块后,我开始觉得事情不对劲了。怎么说,不是没有感情,是那些感情没原先以为的那样真实。我们俩就像两只关笼子里的野兽,你妄图扑进我的笼子,我妄图扑进你的笼子,不得其门而入。你能理解吗?明明那么迫切想要相互了解,想要缩短距离,可就是没法真正接近对方,好像各自心里头都装了同极的磁铁,一挨近了非得挣开,挣开了又不甘愿,于是折腾得双方都伤痕累累。我不说谁不好,事情弄到今天这样,肯定大家都有责任,说什么他不爱做饭,我不爱拖地,追究这些没意思。最根本的原因,就是我们压根不合适,不合适的人,怎么努力,还是不合适。&rdo;&ldo;我选错了。小铮。我不是不会犯错的人,我蠢到家了把偷情时的激动刺激当成恒久的诱惑,我在一个原该成熟的年纪,却犯了一个低级错误,我完全没有去听自己内心的声音,这是于萱说我的,她说的真对。&rdo;&ldo;于萱,跟你说过这些?&rdo;&ldo;是,我很感激你的朋友,她说,每个人的内心都是一个农贸市场,真正的需求就是里面不起眼一个卖土豆的老头儿,你不留神,就会错失。&rdo;王铮微微笑了:&ldo;这是她会说的话。&rdo;李天阳点头:&ldo;我回顾自己干的这些事,还真是这样。跟于书澈在一块,我们好了一年多,分手闹了三年,有什么感情都给掏空了。在那个过程中,我也有去挽回,实际上我挽回过许多次,真的不骗你,我怕跟你的事一样,以后想起来会后悔,所以我是真的对他好,他要怎样就怎样,要什么东西,我立马全世界给他找,闹矛盾时我任他打骂发脾气,一声不吭,完了我还得说尽好话哄他。王铮,这辈子就算对我亲妈我也没这么低声下气过,更不要说你。但是,无论我怎么样说服自己,怎么理性分析他的优点,怎么想努力重新去回想我们当初在一块的好,都没用,我被折腾得累了。心里累,而且很痛苦,我想,原来我能为一个人做到这种地步,为什么当初我没拿出对他一半的好来对你?要那样,我今天想起来,也不至于那么痛心疾首。&rdo;&ldo;我后悔,真的后悔,不是因为现在得不到你,才觉得你好,而是后悔在能对你好的时候没有那么做。我知道,这辈子也就是你能这么掏心掏肺对我好,可我没在意,我他妈怎么能这么狼心狗肺?一想起这个,我就恨不得抽自己俩耳光。&rdo;李天阳说得有些哽噎,他搓搓鼻子,别过脸去。王铮咬着唇,默不作声。&ldo;现在我知道自己要啥了,栽这么大跟头,再不明白,也白活了。我还想好好工作,趁着年纪不老多赚点,晚上回家了能抱着心爱的人睡觉,周末陪他出去买东西逛街,天冷了给他添衣裳,天热了带他出去避暑,我想尽力对他好,他要爱把家里弄成书店就弄吧,该买什么买什么,我要让他活到老也跟小孩儿一样单纯幼稚,四十五岁退休后,我俩一块去环游世界,现下他身体差了,我要替他多考虑,我有许多该操心的地方……&rdo;李天阳眼眶润湿,含着泪笑着问王铮,&ldo;想这么多,你该笑话了吧?呵呵,还有想不到的,你随时补充。&rdo;王铮嘴唇颤抖,摇了摇头,艰难地说:&ldo;可是,我没打算掺和进你的计划……&rdo;&ldo;没事,没关系。&rdo;李天阳飞快地拭去泪水,笑着说,&ldo;这只是我的计划,我欢迎你加入,但不强求。你放心,现下就算一个老朋友病了,我也该照看,也该出力,你别有心理负担,好好养病,好吗?&rdo;王铮目光含泪,却揪住被角,用力说:&ldo;我还是,觉得我不想……&rdo;&ldo;小铮,别说,求你别说。&rdo;李天阳摆摆手,有些仓惶地站起来,掩饰着说,&ldo;我今天还有点事,约了人,我先去处理,明天再来看你,那什么,你好好休息。&rdo;他站起来,险些绊到凳子,发出很大一声响,回头笑了笑,把凳子摆好,走到门口,手一用力,门被打开。
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