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胤祥:
我不知道该怎么跟你说,我想原谅你,可是却找不到任何借口。你愿意给我一个原谅你的理由吗?只要一个就够了。明晚,我会在院子里等你,等你告诉我。
我把信装在信封里,捧着它,却好似捧着一块大石头般的沉重。在今天之前根本就没有想到过,我居然会用这种忍气吞声来维护我的爱情,是不是太过可怜了一点?
&1dquo;小君。”紫云进了房,走到我的身边。
&1dquo;姐。”我麻木的叫了她一声:&1dquo;求你帮我一件事,帮我把这封信交给十三爷,一定要亲手交给他。还有这是我的金牌,带着它你就能进去了。”
&1dquo;你&he11ip;&he11ip;不恨他?”她讶意的接了过去。
我虚弱的摇头:&1dquo;我也不知道,只是&he11ip;&he11ip;我不想失去他&he11ip;&he11ip;”
&1dquo;好吧!我替你送。”她拍拍我的头,温柔的说:&1dquo;累了一天了,早些歇吧!我这就替你去送。”
&1dquo;恩。”我用力的点头。
躺在床上,我却焦虑的怎么都睡不着。明天见了他,我要说什么呢?我能说什么呢?那种代价我可以承受得了吗?他的理由我会认可吗?我真的可以毫无顾忌的原谅他吗?
想着想着,又是泪眼模糊&he11ip;&he11ip;
第二天晚上,我坐在假山上,望着那扇月亮门,静静的等着他。
我一直等,一直等,可从漆黑的夜空一直等到东方泛起了鱼肚白,他都没有出现。我的心沉了,他不来了吗?
紫云坐到了我的身边轻轻的说:&1dquo;小君,别等了,他不会来了。”
&1dquo;他会来的,我相信。”我固执的别开对着她的脸。
&1dquo;昨天都已经过了,现在已经是今天的早晨了,他是不会来的&he11ip;&he11ip;”
我难以置信的凝视着远方:&1dquo;他为什么不来&he11ip;&he11ip;他要放弃吗?&he11ip;&he11ip;放弃我&he11ip;&he11ip;”我神经质的连忙拉过紫云的手:&1dquo;姐,你昨天有没有把信交给他?是不是他没有收到?啊?”
&1dquo;你别傻了。”她心疼的捧起我的脸:&1dquo;别等了&he11ip;&he11ip;回去吧&he11ip;&he11ip;”
&1dquo;呵&he11ip;&he11ip;呵&he11ip;&he11ip;”我心绞的一阵冷笑,他连来都不来,为什么呢?他没有理由吗?他真的爱她吗?还是爱他们的孩子?那我呢?我又算什么?
我垂下头,望着脚下的大地,哇的一声哭了出来。
原来&he11ip;&he11ip;我什么都不是&he11ip;&he11ip;
月底,十四阿哥从丰台大营回来了。一见完皇帝,就往德妃这儿来请安,搞的宫里顿时红红火火、热闹非凡起来。
朱公公趾高气扬的指挥这个指挥那个,那脸上赘满泛着油光的横肉也不由纷纷抖动起来,远远看上去,真恨不得力马就给他一刀。想来康熙皇帝还真疼这个小十四,刚在朝堂见过面,下了朝就又直奔永和宫。难怪一屋子主子、奴才都喜气洋洋、油头粉面、张牙舞爪&he11ip;&he11ip;呸呸呸,什么乱形容词!只有我一个还是浑浑愕愕的依然如故。
守在廊子上,我无所事事的着呆。皇帝亲临,这时的差使可是很抢手的,不过我天生就没什么风头感,再说了,就我这种没事都能搅起三尺浪的小糊涂神,还是少跟着瞎搀和为妙,能躲多远就躲多远。大概德妃也是深有体会吧,像这种时候她是从来都不用我的。反正里头有紫云伺候着,我也就乐得轻松。
想着这些天来所生的事,一切都好像来的太快了。一个月前,我还那么快快乐乐的憧憬着我未来的幸福生活,而一个月后,局面却展成了现在的这个地步。冰火两重天?用在这里还真贴切!也许,这就是为我过去所做的孽赎罪吧!我闷闷的转过头来,慢慢踱走。
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