第39页（第2页）
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集体补钙
印象中，冯小刚的电影里一向不乏精彩的台词。比如《甲方乙方》里的那句
经典的&1dquo;打死我都不说”，至今都被人们津津乐道。除此之外，能和前者有一拼
的，便只非《大腕》莫属了：电影中，傅彪瞬间而泣，热泪横流，伏在大腕儿
&1dquo;泰勒”身前，颤抖着声音说出的那句：&1dquo;我们中国演员已经集体补过钙了！”
这句台词的喜剧效果，最直接，也是最易懂的指涉，无非是&1dquo;明星广告”，
但显然并不是全部。更广泛并更具有深刻意义的，是它描画出了时下大众的一种
普遍心态：&1dquo;补”。
我在医院工作六年，见过需要补充各种营养品的人实在不少。从无数个英文
字母的维生素，一直到滋阴壮阳的各类能量合剂，似乎大多数人都需要借助药物
来达到健康的身体状态。我的朋友甲，身体壮得象头牦牛，膀大腰圆，肌肉丛生，
一顿饭能吃下半斤刀削面，外加数两二锅头，一年四季都难得感冒一次的主儿，
竟也在今年春节见面时，神神秘秘地把我拉到一边，偷偷摸摸地告诉我：&1dquo;哥们
儿最近身体好象不是太好，有什么好东西能叫我补补？”我当时的两个疑问是，
一，他是否得病了？二，他所说的好东西到底是什么玩意？
十分钟后，我得到了反馈，他根本没病；那些他认为的好东西，无非只是那
些电视上广告的补品。对此，我的建议是：哪儿凉快哪儿呆着去。结果，看上去
豪爽直率的他神神道道地认为我是在敷衍他，一心认定自己需要补充大量的营养，
最后，在上个月底我再遇到他时，他告诉我最近正在狂喝羊奶，结果话没说完，
鼻子中就淌出两道热乎乎的鼻血；他不知道夏天是不能胡乱补充高热量的东西的。
关于补充营养，我见过最搞笑的一个签名档是：&1dquo;如果真的吃鱼脑可以使人
变得聪明的话，那我得吃多大的一对儿鲸鱼啊&he11ip;&he11ip;”我个人认为，这个签名档所
衍生出来的潜台词是：纵使把太平洋的鱼脑子都吃光，也不见得此人就能立刻获
得该专业的诺贝尔奖状，哪怕吃得浑身长满鱼鳞，都是俩字儿：没戏。
拿补钙来讲，据广告上说，是可以改善水肿，可以延缓人体衰老。可以延缓
牙齿脱落，可以治疗高血压、神经衰弱、习惯性流产、习惯性便秘、动脉硬化&he11ip;
&he11ip;总之，给我的一个感觉就是，钙制品就是太上老君的灵丹妙药，我们大家伙儿
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