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郭东凯移不开视线,他像着了魔一般望着男孩儿的眼睛,迷蒙的水气里,是浓浓的喜欢和依恋,是锥心的伤痛和不舍,是酸楚的委屈和可怜。郭东凯走过去,想要把刘远扶起来,却被男孩儿反抓住手。然后他看见刘远微微仰头,用几近支离破碎的声音小声恳求着:&ldo;不要结婚好不好……&rdo;郭东凯看着刘远,他们的距离很近,近到可以听见彼此的呼吸,近到他能看清男孩儿被眼泪打湿而粘在一起的睫毛,近要他只要一伸手,就能把男孩儿拥进怀里。可是他不能。有些事情必须说清楚,不然对大家都不好。于是他只能狼狈的别开脸,一个用力把男孩儿拉起来,掏出钥匙低头打开门:&ldo;进来说吧。&rdo;刘远茫然而无助地进了屋。水晶吊灯一亮,客厅的所有无处遁形。一地狼藉,还是当初他俩吵架时的样子。郭东凯被浇的那里,地板已经鼓起了一大块,惨不忍睹。唯独光盘和折纸都不见了,刘远希望它们是被好好收藏了,可又不敢太想。只有沙发是好的。鹅黄色的布料,烘托出单薄的温情。郭东凯带着刘远坐进沙发里。然后叹口气,抬手给小孩儿擦了擦脸上的泪痕。刘远不理会,他脑袋里现在只有一个念头,郭东凯不要结婚,他不要郭东凯结婚,所以他把能想到的软话一股脑的往出倒:&ldo;别结婚好不好,我有什么毛病你说,我肯定改,我都好久没化妆了,我也没再买奇怪的衣服,我不踹你了,我不乱发脾气了,我俩就这么好好的在一块儿……&rdo;郭东凯终于还是把小孩揽进了怀里,带着温度的液体透过衬衣,烫到了他的皮肤。他重重的呼出一口气,不远处的窗台上是他刚和刘远好的时候买的盆栽仙人掌,他俩都以为这东西不用管便能茁壮成长,如今,枯萎暗黄。郭东凯听见自己难得语重心长的声音:&ldo;圈儿里凡到了我这岁数,都这样的……&rdo;刘远不说话,他紧紧的抱住郭东凯,只是哭。郭东凯觉得有些无力,刘远打他骂他的时候他会怒,可刘远这样,他真的没招儿。&ldo;我结婚是肯定的了,你要能接受,咱俩还跟以前一样,要是接受不了……&rdo;郭东凯没再往下说,意思再明白不过,他知道刘远会懂。半晌,小孩儿从他的怀里挣脱出来,就那么定定的看着他,带着点酸楚,带着点无助:&ldo;怎么能一样呢?&rdo;是啊,怎么能一样呢。郭东凯也发觉自己说了句废话。依刘远的性格,今天能过来已经是他的极限了吧。郭东凯知道刘远喜欢自己,但他真的没想过,会有这般地步。操,还不如不知道呢,省得现在堵得慌。轻轻把小孩儿乱糟糟的刘海拨顺,郭东凯像个前辈一样给刘远规划远景:&ldo;那你就再找找,也许真有肯为你不结婚的也说不定。&rdo;刘远还是那么直直的看着,只是目光慢慢的冷下来,隐约,带上一点儿恨。郭东凯被那目光刺得生疼,他觉得这恨不会持续多久,因为刘远的脾气就是来去都快,从不记仇。可被这样盯得久了,他又开始不确定,因为那恨意太明显,好像能把人贯穿。往死里揍自己的是刘远,冷漠着说把二胡还你咱俩两清的是刘远,往他头上浇水的是刘远,抱着他哭求他不要结婚的还是刘远。郭东凯被对方的任性和喜怒无常搞得云里雾里,而现在,被刘远这么看着,他才忽然有了某种觉悟‐‐这只是个孩子啊!刘远不记得他是怎么从郭东凯家出来的,等回过神来,人已经站在了电梯里。失重感让头晕得厉害,刘远靠在电梯壁上,仰头急促的呼吸,金属冰冷的质感透过脊背传递到四肢百骸。他克制不住的打了个哆嗦。上方是半圆形的监视器,刘远傻傻的望着它,身体慢慢滑落,嘴角却扯出抹似有若无的笑。刘远以前从没想过有一天自己能这么委曲求全,可当这感情真落到自己身上了,他才明白,原来真的可以,毫不犹豫的把所有能贡献的都贡献出去,自尊,原则,统统放弃,只为那么一丁点儿可能的希望。就像无数次和郭东凯吵架后的和好一样,他总怕自己会因为任性而后悔,所以他总尽可能的原谅,再原谅。可是,他不是圣人,怎么能不恨呢。就像现在,他已经被那把名为恨意的刀,划得遍体鳞伤。

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