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李祝融坐在副驾驶座上,安静地看着我。四目相对,我赶紧移开了目光,走到后座坐了下来。整个车程里,那些亲戚在说什么,我一个字也没听进去,我脑子里满满的,都是他刚刚那个眼神。此刻他就坐在我前面,一言不发,像一樽沉默的雕塑。沉默,有时候比谴责更让人不安。&ldo;煦煦,在想什么……&rdo;我妈推了我一把,不悦地说:&ldo;又走神了,舅爷在问你话呢……&rdo;&ldo;哦。&rdo;我整理起礼貌的笑容,对那面貌和我妈有几分相似的二舅爷问道:&ldo;舅舅问什么?&rdo;&ldo;我说!你和沈小姐什么时候结婚!你妈还等着抱孙子呢!&rdo;因为年纪的缘故,舅爷的耳朵已经听不清楚了,所以他就以为自己说话的声音很小,拼命扯着嗓子说话,震耳欲聋。连车外的人都听得到。我不敢去看后视镜里李祝融的表情!我很想对这群表面亲亲热热背后传起闲话来毫不嘴软的亲戚大叫一声&ldo;闭嘴!&rdo;然后咆哮着告诉他们,我他妈的这辈子都不准备和女人结婚,有个屁的孙子可抱!我许煦这辈子唯一爱的,就是前座上那个叫李祝融的男人!你们尽管传!尽管骂!我这辈子就是个恶心的让人戳脊梁骨的同性恋!那又怎样!你们再怎么指指点点,唧唧喳喳,我都不会少一块肉!流言再多,我也不会死!但是我不能。我不会死,我爸妈会。人活到他们这个岁数,利益都看得淡了,只想有个好名声。我给不了他们一个孙子,至少得给他们一个体面。我活着一天,我就必须顾忌父母的脸面,顾忌父母的感受。我是个无可救药的懦夫。-到了华越楼,亲戚们依次下车,我是最后一个,看着那辆车开走。沈宛宜让门童去泊车,自己穿着一身玫瑰灰的套裙走了下来。在我旁边站定,用手遮着眉头,朝那辆车开走的方向看了一会,笑道:&ldo;不是吧,他竟然乖乖走了?你施了什么法术&rdo;我没心情和她开玩笑,转身自顾自往里面走。她追在我后面笑:&ldo;这家伙也没我想的那么坏嘛。&rdo;-吃饭的时候,有个亲戚笑着问我:&ldo;刚才车上坐的那个人是谁?长得像个外国人,脸色挺怕人的。&rdo;沈宛宜笑着打趣:&ldo;这得问许煦了,说不定许煦没给车费,人家不高兴呢……&rdo;于是席上齐笑,宾主尽欢。我没想到会在华越遇到罗秦。他虽然不像李祝融郑野狐这种同辈人一样出色,但也是一个大家族的继承人,怎么也不该离开北京,远远地跑到c城来。宴席半途,我被跟结婚有关的话题逼得坐不住,说声去厕所,带了烟准备到吸烟区去吸。在走廊上和一个穿着白色西装的人擦肩而过,被他一把揪住。&ldo;是你?&rdo;我惊讶地看着罗秦:&ldo;你怎么会在这里?&rdo;他比上次见面似乎又瘦了不少,两颊都凹下来,明明穿着质地良好的西装,却凭空显出几分落魄来。罗秦没有回答我,而是把我手里的烟抢了过去,指着我出来的包厢,要笑不笑地道:&ldo;你爸生日?&rdo;我惊讶地看着他:&ldo;你怎么知道?&rdo;&ldo;你的生日是二月十七,你爸的生日是三月十五。&rdo;他点着了烟,似乎忘了什么一样,用细长苍白手指敲了敲额头,笑道:&ldo;你妈的生日我忘了……&rdo;我被他震住了:&ldo;你记这个做什么?&rdo;他自嘲般笑了笑,琥珀色的细长眼睛眯起来,在香烟的烟雾后面若隐若现。我们关系算不上好,十年前,他是个孤僻沉默的少年,十年之后,他也没有对我表示什么善意。这样安静地站在走廊里,气氛很尴尬。&ldo;你找我有什么事?&rdo;我开口问他。&ldo;没事,看到了打声招呼而已。&rdo;罗秦放开了一直抓住我手臂的手,忽然低头看起自己的手掌来。我看他没有要再搭理我的意思,试探性地问:&ldo;那我先回去了?&rdo;罗秦没有说话。到现在为止,我已经觉得他是一个神经质的人了。但是他叫住了我。&ldo;许煦。&rdo;他靠在贴着米色墙纸的墙壁上,手指上夹着一支烟,看着我说:&ldo;你有没有想过,为什么我只有在这种场合,才会出现在你面前?&rdo;

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