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&ldo;……&rdo;这孩子。&ldo;就你这张嘴，成日窝在那小律师事务所，像什么话？赶紧出来跟哥打天下了，在城墙一里外都能憋死敌将。&rdo;前面的话乔可南当没听见，左耳进右耳出，道：&ldo;那我这张嘴，够不够哄你好好睡一觉了？&rdo;陆洐之勾唇。&ldo;不够。&rdo;&ldo;哦？&rdo;陆洐之食指抹抹自己的唇，一副&ldo;你知道，看著办&rdo;。乔可南笑笑，倾身给了男人睡前最后一个吻。※台北地方法院的新店办公大楼，冷气开得太强了。乔可南穿了一套西装，外罩一件律师袍，依旧冷得起鸡皮疙瘩，可反观他的当事人──雪纺薄衬衫窄及膝短裙，两条美腿纤毫毕露，脚踏十公分紫色高跟鞋。她梳著公主头，妆容干净、成熟美丽，是个会计员，对于金钱数字斤斤计较，这点由她提出的赡养金额，可见一斑。&ldo;四百二十四万一千零二元。&rdo;她提出这数据时，乔可南当场傻眼。&ldo;什么？&rdo;她把一张电脑打印的报表递出，向乔可南一一解释：&ldo;我们结婚一共三千八百五十一天，假设我一天为家庭付出，包含打扫做饭的价格是两千，扣除我个人一半，剩下便是一千。逢年过节陪他出场见父母三千，居家修缮，家里的电器设备常用物品等等……&rdo;她哗啦哗啦，有条有理报出一串数字，最后总结：&ldo;两块钱，是我们结婚前在咖啡店，他跟我借的钱。&rdo;乔可南：&ldo;……&rdo;她坚持：&ldo;如果他要离婚，就要给我这个数字，其他我不需要。&rdo;乔可南拿过报表，上头数目清清楚楚，一丝不苟。这是一桩离婚案件，由男方提出，女方不愿，拖拖拉拉最后结果，就是这张用excel列出的表格，记载了他们十年婚姻。……不对，是三千八百五十一天又八个小时。被女方感染，乔可南不禁跟著精打细算起来。他问：&ldo;你要不干脆凑个整数？四百五十万之类的。&rdo;零头麻烦，调解的时候一般都以整数计，他不提，法官也会提。女方摇头。&ldo;不，我不多拿一分，但也绝不少拿。&rdo;乔可南：&ldo;……&rdo;奇葩案件见过不少，但这一桩绝对可以列入他职场生涯回忆录的前十大排行榜。届时若能由盛竹如盛前辈替他主持旁白就更完美了。家事庭一般会先进行调解，当日女方不来，乔可南代替出席，把具体数额跟对方的律师提了，男方反应一嘲：&ldo;笑话，我何时跟她借过两块钱了？别说两块，两毛都没有！&rdo;&ldo;一百万，我最多给这数字，多的别想！也不想想自己那么大问题……&rdo;乔可南：&ldo;……&rdo;十年婚姻，换来一句那么大问题，大概盛竹如都要无言。谈判破裂，好吧，那就打官司吧。约一个月后，法官决定开庭，发下传票。家事庭没有所谓原告被告，为了接下来叙述方便，女方称春娇，男方叫志明。地方法院很小，家事庭又很热门，于是特设一处办公大楼，乔可南戏称电视台、菜市场。那儿上演各种各样乡土剧码，什么夜市人生、世间情、玫瑰瞳铃眼，通通闪边去。他怀疑编剧们根本时常过来旁听取材，总计约有十个庭，有经验的法官一般均会排两到三小时，才给下一个。他来前查过，今日这桩的审理法官是出了名的爱看戏……更正，仔细。而使用同庭的前一场法官太乐观，只排了一小时，眼看原订的庭期时间不断后延，下午两点的案子，拖成三点半，他们坐在法庭走廊的板凳上，乔可南有点冷，体贴问春娇：&ldo;要不要帮你买杯热的？&rdo;春娇：&ldo;……我不冷。&rdo;她眼睛淡淡瞥到志明那儿，对方正在说电话，声音不大，他们这儿听不清在讲什么，但大概意思是&ldo;好了，我知道，会离的&rdo;、&ldo;我懂，不给的就是不给，她不值得……&rdo;对方律师终于注意到他们目光，示意志明，志明这才讪讪收声，看女方的眼神……乔可南终于懂，春娇为何不觉得冷。心冷，胜于一切。等审理前，乔可南通常会向委托人解释开庭流程，像法官会先阐述每个人拥有的权力，这时一般无须质疑，说了解即可。有时候当事人太紧张，乔可南也会提些法庭上趣闻，缓解气氛，不过春娇很冷静，更淡定，乔可南嘱咐什么，她一律表示：&ldo;乔律师，我都懂。&rdo;
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