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说真的,慕府她是再不会回去了!姑且不论大娘,就算如雨花姨所说,现在的慕府是由疼爱她的大哥当家做主,她都不可能回去的!是,没错,她大哥对她真的好,在大娘仿佛永无休止的折磨中,大哥总会在危急之际将她从大娘手中抢救回来。如果不是大哥,她可能真活不到遇见雨花姨了!她想,她是该好好感激她大哥,但是……湛璃恍惚地站定了脚步,脑中仿佛浮现大哥灼烫的眼神。她下意识地打了个激烈的寒颤。这让她顿时回神,不由得飞快地甩头,想摇散那令她毛骨悚然的记忆。她就是不想回慕府呀!虽然她并不明了大哥有时深深凝望她的火热眼神究竟代表什么意思,可是只要想起,她只觉得害怕。她不想再回慕府了,那种充满牛鬼蛇神的地方,她只愿此生都不再想起!可是雨花姨为什么就是不懂她?她日日提、刻刻提、见到她就提,仿佛不将她送回慕府就不甘休。她真的这么惹她讨厌吗?让她在青青楼多待一刻都无法忍受?她这么地爱雨花姨,想好好地孝敬她、想和大家快快乐乐地生活在一起……这又不算什么了不起的愿望,为什么雨花姨就是不了解?她已经受够人家的疏离冷淡了,怎么到现在却连雨花姨都不要她了?!讨厌、讨厌!满腔的委屈让湛璃不禁蹲在街角哭泣,小巷的杳无人烟正好给了她一个尽情发泄的空间。她难过地放声大哭,将鼻涕眼泪一古脑儿地全往膝上的罗裙擦去。她哭得如此专注,浑然没发现身旁来人。&ldo;璃儿?!&rdo;白柳路过小巷,竟惊讶地望见蹲在一旁的湛璃。她立刻蹲下,关心地询问:&ldo;你怎么啦?什么事让你这么难过?&rdo;怎么回事?璃儿一向个性逞强倔强,能让她哭成这样,恐怕是天大的事了。湛璃抬头一望,隔着朦胧的泪眼,发现来者竟是她在永乐坊唯一的朋友──白柳。一看见白柳,湛璃立刻止了哭声,急忙胡乱地用衣袖抹了抹脸,假装刚刚什么事都没发生过。她一向不在任何人面前展现脆弱,不仅出自她天性的倔强,更是饱受折磨的童年给她的教训──她愈哭,大娘只会愈高兴。&ldo;还装,还装。&rdo;白柳见状,忍不住叹了口气。&ldo;璃儿,你现在假装已经没有用了,我刚刚可什么都看到了。&rdo;真是的,她们是怎样的交情,有必要对她逞强吗?虽然已经命令了自己不要再哭,但一时半刻她还无法表现得若无其事。&ldo;阿柳,如果你把我当成好朋友,就别问我发生什么事了,好吗?&rdo;她撇过眼神,就是不习惯将弱点暴露人前。&ldo;璃儿,如果你把我当好朋友,为什么不让我和你一起分担你的难过呢?&rdo;白柳又叹了口气,关怀地拉起湛璃的手。这个璃儿,永远都这么逞强!可是有时候对别人说说心底话,不是那样见不得人的事呀!白柳关怀的语气和手中传来的温温暖意,都让心情正翻搅的湛璃激动得泫然欲泣。&ldo;璃儿?&rdo;白柳期待着,更耐心地等候着湛璃将要说的话。&ldo;阿柳……我……&rdo;湛璃是想说的,但她发现自己根本办不到。&ldo;阿柳,对不起,我实在说不出口。&rdo;她低垂着螓首,丧气地道歉。习惯倔强太久,反倒让她忘了该如何坦白。她的道歉反倒引来了白柳的娇笑。&ldo;傻璃儿,说不出来就别说了,我又不是在逼你。&rdo;瞧璃儿这个样,似乎没什么事了。白柳因此也放心了许多。性格这种东西是逼不来的,璃儿既是她的朋友,白柳也不想勉强。只要璃儿能够开心,白柳也就安心了。她笑望着湛璃,轻问:&ldo;那你现在觉得好些了吗?&rdo;如果璃儿已经没事,她也不能再多加停留了。平常这时候她早该到沐春院去卖唱了,她迟到这么久,不禁心下忡忡,真不知道沐春院的鸨娘会多么生气。&ldo;阿柳,你……你要走了吗?&rdo;湛璃有些慌乱,虽然心情已渐平复,但她现在还十分需要有人陪伴。她不禁拉着白柳的衣袖,想要她留下来陪自己。&ldo;璃儿,难不成你也想跟着我去沐春院?&rdo;璃儿这样她根本没法走,白柳只有转回头,凝眉询问。&ldo;不成吗?&rdo;湛璃很紧张,音调也提高了许多。

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