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他粗暴地把我的腿折到胸前压住，然後更深地挺进来，我绷直了脖子，被他逼出的声音只发出一半就被堵住了。他在吻我。我迷惑地睁开眼睛。……真奇怪，我……我不明白，为什麽要吻我呢？不是只要性就好了吗？这样深入的吻……会不会太多余了？或者说……太……慷慨了？为什麽要吻我？下方狂乱的冲撞让我几欲窒息，眼前一阵阵发黑，费力地在他唇齿间寻找著呼吸的机会，他嘴唇一直没有移开，执著地贴著我辗转吮吸，舌头探进来纠缠著，呼吸炽热，自然而熟练地亲吻著我。&ldo;……小辰……&rdo;我怎麽觉得一点都不真实。你是在叫我吗？……好象很久了……都没有人这样叫过我，我都差点忘了……&ldo;小辰……&rdo;我也知道自己很软弱，只是几个深吻，只是那样轻轻叫了我几次，就好象重新被他爱著一样，就好象从来也没有怨恨过他，好象他从来也没有伤害过我，好象可以像从前一样，只是简单地抱著他就什麽都不用怕……&ldo;小辰……&rdo;他温热的大手在背後熟练地寻找到我薄薄的蝴蝶骨，用力托住，来回摩擦著。你，你是不是还记得，只要这样抚摩，我就不会觉得痛了？我抽泣著伸手搂住他的脖子。陆风，我是真的，一直，都很想你……&ldo;爸爸。&rdo;动作骤然停止了。陆风宽阔的肩膀挡著我的视线，我什麽也看不见，可是那轻轻的两个字那麽清晰地，尖锐地穿过耳膜，一直刺入心脏。我僵硬地躺著，一动也不能动，四肢和血液都凝固了。陆风直起身来，表情冷漠地看向门口，他没有惊诧，没有意外，好象文扬的出现根本就在他掌握之内。我一瞬间完全明白过来。什麽爱抚，什麽亲吻……都是假的……都是我自作多情……他只不过是想让我出丑而已。我僵硬地躺著，一动也不能动，四肢和血液都凝固了。陆风直起身来，表情冷漠地看向门口，他没有惊诧，没有意外，好象文扬的出现根本就在他掌握之内。我一瞬间完全明白过来。什麽爱抚，什麽亲吻……都是假的……都是我自作多情……他只不过是想让我出丑而已。&ldo;爸……&rdo;文扬这回是完完全全出现在我面前，我还张皇失措地赤裸裸躺著，僵硬地望著他，他也面色铁青地望著丑态毕露的我。突然解冻一般，我整个人弹跳起来，惨叫著推开陆风，手脚并用地抓著任何可以遮挡自己丑态的东西。不顾一切钻进被子里，哆嗦著蜷成一团。不要看我……求求你不要看我……原来是这样，……原来是这样……不知道什麽时候房间里才又是一片寂静，只剩下我一个人维持著同样的姿势缩在被子里，闭著眼睛一直发抖。天好象已经黑了。我那样一声不吭地紧紧缩著，一动也不再动了。似乎是半夜，身上又变得滚烫。我烧得难受，把脸埋在床褥里意识不清地磨蹭，冷一阵热一阵。眼睛睁不开了，也听不清声音。梦里好象有人来抱著我，我抓著来人的衣服，断断续续地哭，一开始叫妈妈，到後来一直重复叫一个名字，不停地叫，颠颠倒倒地叫，哭得喘不过气。我以前，真的，是那麽喜欢他陆风接下来几天没再对我做什麽，也许我那天以後缺乏反应的木然和迟钝呆滞的表现令他觉得厌倦了。他越是毫无动静越是平和，我越是紧张不安，不知道他又在准备什麽新的手段，等著冷不防跳出来鲜血淋漓地咬我一口。他看我的目光里是些什麽东西，我分辨不出来。他复杂得远远超过我能看得透的程度。坐在浴缸里泡掉身上积累下来的药味和汗味，热气熏得人昏昏然，久病初愈身体有点虚软，泡著泡著，不自觉渐渐就靠在缸沿沈睡了过去。被门轰然大开的声音惊醒了，懵懂地坐起来张开眼睛望著面前的人，好半天焦距才对准他的脸。&ldo;你在这里干什麽？！&rdo;他脸色很不好看，语气更暴躁。
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