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语病,时檀大姐,三人怎么青梅竹马啊。时檀(茶):知道有个词叫3p么?吴邪:……时檀(自语):话说两竹马任我骑的话算是双飞吧……吴邪:==……囧囧黄瓜终于,张小攻在看了一场闹剧后决定退场继续做他的路人甲,吴邪筒子虽然舍不得,但还是为了自己那层薄薄的犹如什么什么膜一捅就破的秘密不要被捅破于是大义放走了小攻同学。他觉得自己比关羽伟大多了,关羽同学是为了报恩,而他……这是为了爱啊……囧。啊,小攻,乃的刀还没有到手,我们下次继续哦~~~~~~yd笑。&ldo;还没搞定,真是的。&rdo;时檀坐在沙发上理了理自己那头卷发,阴阳怪气地说。&ldo;难啊……&rdo;吴邪摇头晃脑地叹气。&ldo;给你个好东西。&rdo;时檀忽然诡异地笑了,从黑色塑料袋里掏出了一根黄瓜丢给了吴邪。&ldo;……你……&rdo;&ldo;听过一句名言么?给我一根黄瓜,我就可以搞定全世界……&rdo;时檀抓起沙发上的小黑刀,刀刷的一声出鞘,把黄瓜砍成两段!当真是黑道大小姐的气势。(暴汗,原句应该是:给我一根杠杆和一个支点……那句……)吸气,吐气,幽幽地补完了最后几个字:&ldo;……的男人。&rdo;那个气势,堪称一往无前神挡杀神佛挡杀佛。吴邪无端地觉得身上某处一疼,一看老痒也是差不多的扭曲的神情,于是越发同情那些被这个疯女人的lolita外表欺骗的纯情正太。姐姐,您这话真是受用啊……额,货真价实的&ldo;受&rdo;用。&ldo;所以,好好利用,我带了很多,足够你搞定所有男人。&rdo;时檀眯着眼笑。&ldo;可是,时檀姐姐,他是攻……&rdo;吴邪小声提醒道。时檀举起左手半根黄瓜和右手上银光灿灿的小黑刀,微笑:&ldo;你说什么,风声太大,姐姐没听清。&rdo;&ldo;……我什么都没说。&rdo;吴邪竖起两指对天发誓。&ldo;很好,很好……&rdo;话音未落,时檀手上的小黑刀已经直指吴邪脐下三寸,吓得吴邪一动不敢动。&ldo;嗯哼?&rdo;时檀单手掏出细框眼镜戴上,似笑非笑地打量着吴邪。&ldo;我说他是攻!&rdo;吴邪字正腔圆中气十足地回答道。&ldo;这个我当然知道,就你那小身板,下辈子还得是受。&rdo;时檀冷笑一声,然后补充道,&ldo;总受。&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;老痒同情地看着小无邪。兄弟,爱莫能助。&ldo;黄瓜是个好东西,不但可以美容,还可以吃,呵呵,吃……&rdo;时檀忽然笑了,又从塑料袋里掏出了一根黄瓜,递给小无邪。&ldo;三个月你要是还搞不定那个谁,下辈子就用它过活好了。&rdo;时檀摇着那根青翠碧绿的黄瓜,微笑。……!!!&ldo;我吴邪对天发誓,三个月内必定搞定张家小攻!&rdo;吴邪再次竖起两指对天发誓,&ldo;如有违誓……&rdo;时檀已经接了他的话头:&ldo;如有违誓,如此黄瓜。&rdo;卡擦一声,时檀手上的黄瓜再次繁殖成了两根……飒飒秋风……&ldo;好了,去切点当水果吃吧。&rdo;时檀收刀,指了指桌上的黑塑料袋。&ldo;……&rdo;好大一袋黄瓜,时檀姐姐,您太可怕了……您这是要搞定多少男人啊……时檀微笑:&ldo;愣着干什么,难道要我整根整根喂你?&rdo;不用了……姐姐您喂我就肯定喂不对地方了……我的菊花啊……泪流满面g薄冰:灭哈哈,我真是越来越喜欢欺负小无邪了……果然是我邪恶了……ps:俺在eg小段落里也用了这个呢……咳。看过的就无视我好了……路遇小攻rt,路遇小攻,这真是件美好的事情啊~~~~小无邪已经神魂颠倒云里雾里了,痴痴地看着张小攻,那个眼神,饥渴;那个表情,销魂……可是!下一秒,小无邪的脸部表情就像是豆腐渣的高架桥一样瞬间崩塌了,而小无邪自己就这么被砸死在高架桥下,尸骨无存……不,他不是被砸死的,是被淹死的。淹死很痛苦是吧,更痛苦的是被庐州名产淹死了!此物,甚好,名为‐‐老醋。那个挨千刀的闷油瓶(吴邪最近给他取的外号……),竟然,竟然和一个女人逛街!

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