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罂粟冲着他声嘶力竭地喊：&ldo;什么都恨！恨这些年把压得不透气，又把像东西样玩弄在股掌里，恨放纵别人伤害，恨杀了李游缨！根本没有负过责任，从头到尾都没想过别人感受，只顾着自己！&rdo;说到后面，泪水又大颗大颗掉下来，楚行伸手抹去脸颊上水泽，被把拂开。他看着，低声说：&ldo;那现在呢？过去这四个月到现在，还直在恨着么？&rdo;罂粟厉声说：&ldo;当然还在恨！&rdo;&ldo;这么报复，觉得高兴？&rdo;&ldo;有什么不高兴？高兴极了！&rdo;&ldo;如果真高兴，不会总是跟确认安全感，又紧张得天天晚上睡不着觉。&rdo;罂粟微微震，把推开他，失声否认：&ldo;在胡说。&rdo;楚行没有动，反而顺势攥住手。罂粟手冰凉，微微发着抖，被他握在温热掌心中。楚行淡淡说：&ldo;如果真还那么恨，就该在个月前刚清醒时候就给枪，直接杀死。懂楚家所有事务，死，再稍微挑拨，楚家就是盘散沙。没必要再去找景致和鄢玉，遮遮掩掩拐弯抹角。&rdo;罂粟微微止住泪水，瞪大眼望着他，楚行两手撑住墙壁，将虚虚拢在怀里，声音低柔，娓娓道来：&ldo;看，罂粟，根本没想象中那么恨。做这切，只不过因为些不甘心。&rdo;&ldo;就算不会枪杀了，也恨。&rdo;罂粟盯着他，认真得像是小学生，&ldo;不杀，只是因为不会轻易杀人而已！&rdo;楚行顺着话，沉声说下去：&ldo;想象遍假如报复成功之后生活。离开，离开楚宅，再也见不到，从此与楚家无关，与无关。个人，没人会只个眼神就懂脑袋里在想些什么，没人会再把抱在腿上喂饭，在睡不着时候讲故事哄睡觉，教品茶陪画画，没人会帮收拾那些自己收拾不了事。再不会在这世上找到个人像这样比自己更懂得，也不会找到个人比更适合。那样生活，半分不会比现在好，不会习惯。罂粟，觉得会比现在高兴几分？根本不会喜欢。&rdo;他说得越多，罂粟眼泪流得越急。他话音尚未落地，已经用尽全身力气大声反驳他：&ldo;才不是非要跟着才可以！才不是非不可！&rdo;&ldo;好。知道恨着。或许离开，会过得很好。&rdo;楚行看着，平静说道，&ldo;那么呢？离开，要怎么办？&rdo;罂粟微微怔，半天才反映出他意思，却又像是根本没有听懂，仰脸望着他，半晌才低低出声：&ldo;……说什么？&rdo;&ldo;需要程度，比想象中要多许多。&rdo;楚行不习惯这样直白说话方式，因而说得很慢，却同时又字字清晰，&ldo;如果不爱，这四个月认为在做些什么？个人不在意另个人，不会对照顾衣食住行乐此不疲。不会尽心收拾这个人闯下每个烂摊子。不会不管这个人在不在眼前，都要花半以上思考时间在这个人身上。这世上只有适合，也只有适合。罂粟，可以恨。但不能说不在爱。&rdo;罂粟怔怔地望着他，过了半晌才低声回答：&ldo;不信。&rdo;样子有些茫然，声音低弱下去：&ldo;不是无所不能，不能再让时间回来。再也不能让变回以前那种处事方式。会直任性自私下去，直都看不惯这样，就算现在接受了，总有天也会觉得厌烦。那时候就又会像是两年前不能如所愿变成想要那种样子时候，在失望之极情况下做那些事。到那个时候，还会再做遍。&rdo;&ldo;不会。&rdo;楚行摸着鬓角，声音低沉轻缓，&ldo;知道以前错在哪里。不该把惯成朵玫瑰样子，再试图拔光所有刺。那本来就应当是样子。不会再做那样事。&rdo;罂粟有些发愣地看着他，过了会儿，忽然捂住脸放声大哭。像是比方才还要伤心十分样子，哭得止不住，身体贴着墙壁低下去，直坐到地毯上。抱住双膝蜷缩起自己，哭声很大，穿透耳膜般，像是要把这些年以来所有委屈和怨愤统统都哭出来。楚行跟着蹲下来，伸手去抱，被狠狠摔手甩开。罂粟泪眼模糊，话语因哽咽而断断续续：&ldo;知道有多恨那样对！知道离枝那些人背地里都对做过什么事！知道下了多大决心才想要离开！什么都不知道！把送去崔家，拿任何件小事压制，让离枝处处骑到头上，还杀了李游缨！知不知道被逼得想过自杀？根本什么都不知道！&rdo;&ldo;是错。&rdo;罂粟脸颊被泪水浸得发白，胸口因抽泣而剧烈起伏，泛起绵密疼：&ldo;只知道为所欲为，从来都不会想过处境，只知道拿比能承受还要更严厉方式制裁，根本没有想问过为什么，把话说得这么晚，知不知道什么都已经晚了？已经把楚宅烧了，把所有重要东西都毁得塌糊涂，现在没看到具体是什么模样，所以才没有动怒。等看到了，就会很生气，会报复，比以前惩罚还要严厉十倍地报复！&rdo;
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