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&ldo;不错,&rdo;罗宾站在一边,他与小吉见面以来,都有些局促不安,&ldo;你过得挺好?&rdo;&ldo;嗯,还行。&rdo;周小吉示意罗宾坐下,又连忙说,&ldo;你朋友修车的钱我会负责。&rdo;&ldo;他是我经纪,不用理他。&rdo;&ldo;那怎么行,确实是我的错。&rdo;罗宾在车上,是看着周小吉的车冲上来的,他明显没注意到罗宾他们的车停下来,似乎连刹车都没踩,要不是因为那条路挺忙,车速本来也不快,恐怕真得出些伤残的事故。&ldo;你怎么了?开车在想什么?&rdo;周小吉只摇了摇头,没说话。两人坐了半天,还是没能从陌生的尴尬中解脱出来。既没提不堪过往,也不好问将来打算,只说了不着边际,没有重点的话,都在城墙外绕着,谁也不敢靠近一步。天色暗了,罗宾终于鼓起勇气约小吉去吃晚饭。&ldo;你不是说不方便在公众场合出现?&rdo;&ldo;吃饭还是可以。&rdo;&ldo;不介意就在这里吃好吧?我随便煮点东西。&rdo;&ldo;好,&rdo;罗宾毫不犹豫地答应,又想起小吉的朋友,&ldo;方便么?&rdo;周小吉知道他顾忌的是方杰,&ldo;他很晚才会回来。&rdo;厨房很小,又是开放式,罗宾站在一边就可以看见做饭的周小吉。他这几年还真是变化不少,罗宾想着,说话做事,跟以前判若两人,只偶尔一个随便的表情,还带着年少时的烙印。曾经为了他想长大,长大后却又失去了他。简单的青菜米饭,却给了罗宾无限熟悉的感觉,象是回到小时候,偶尔留在小吉家里吃晚饭,总会有炒得绿油油的青菜,他当时并没想到,娇生惯养的周小吉也会自己下厨房,会在楼下拥挤的洗衣房里排队洗衣服……&ldo;我找过你父母,&rdo;吃到一半,罗宾突然说,&ldo;他们不肯透露你在哪里,却跟我说过当时的情况。我知道你,你自杀过。&rdo;筷子无端掉到地上,发出清脆一声响。周小吉低身拣起来,脸色已经不太好看。换了另外一双,继续吃饭,并没有再说话。罗宾也沉默着,他想,自己可能又说错话,好好的重逢又给自己搞砸了。晚饭过后,周小吉收拾干净,才对罗宾说:&ldo;我那时候小,什么都不懂,才会做傻事。你就别提了。也不早了,回去休息吧!&rdo;&ldo;哦,好。&rdo;罗宾似乎还有话说,又不好再做停留,拿了外套,犹豫着出门,在周小吉关门前询问,&ldo;我还可以找你么?&rdo;&ldo;来日方长,以后再说吧!&rdo;周小吉回到屋里,脑袋里依旧混乱,窗外万家灯火,一天又没了,难道明天还请假?又能躲多久?如果真舍得扔下这份工作,又何苦遂了他的心思?昨天下午无论他逼迫多紧,也该言辞拒绝,至少能带着完整的尊严离开……问题赶在一块儿时候,真的觉得很难,只是生活没有捷径,再难再苦也得生生捱过去。给这般苦恼煎熬着,周小吉脾气毛躁着,心里跟长了草一样,翻来覆去都觉得烦躁。方杰打电话过来的时候,他语气并不和善:&ldo;以后不回来就不用打电话了吧!什么时候回来告诉一声就行,我好有准备。&rdo;&ldo;你怎么了?&rdo;方杰似乎心情也不太好,却明显压抑着,&ldo;还在气撞车的事?不是跟你说了,没办法的事,现金周转不开,就交给保险吧!&rdo;&ldo;那保险不是也要升?说来说去一回事。&rdo;&ldo;那你说怎么办?&rdo;方杰火也来了,&ldo;我没时间管这些事,你看着来吧!&rdo;说着匆匆挂了电话,不欢而散。周小吉发现冰箱里,最后一瓶啤酒也给了罗宾喝光,还有一瓶红酒剩了底儿,拿出来两口就没了,从没象今晚这么渴望酒精,好象吸毒的人上了瘾,没有酒精,他今天晚上休想过得舒坦,只好拿了外套出门。刚开了门,却看见罗宾还在门口靠墙站着。&ldo;你怎么还没走?&rdo;&ldo;我知道你父母逼你逼得紧,还打了你;教练找过你,跟你说我们的感情会毁了我的前途;我那时候跟你说&lso;比赛比什么都重要&rso;是狠狠推开了你,帮凶一样,跟他们一起把你逼到绝境。……我在所有人指责你的时候去比赛,回来知道你离开,还在心里埋怨过你。我用了六年的时候明白,有些话光放在心里,只要求对方了解,对别人是不公平,所以,我今天不能一言不发就离开,小吉,有句话我一直想找机会跟你说,&rdo;罗宾觉得这么多年,他从没一口气说这么多话,最想说的,在六年后也终于能出口,&ldo;对不起,真的对不起。&rdo;

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