第23页（第1页）
请退出浏览器阅读模式，否则将导致章节内容缺失及无法阅读下一章。🎁免费-纯欲御姐主播
他面目狰狞，眼球猩红，重重地拽着我质问，像要把我吃了一样。&ldo;我…我只是害怕。&rdo;&ldo;怕你妈个头！&rdo;他的声音暴躁地落在我的身上，脚狠狠地砸在床沿。后来我一直记得那刻，他像一失去理智的困兽，只能全力反扑。他的愤怒不仅是因为欲望无法宣泄，还在于他那瞬间的绝望，他一直以为同性的爱和异性是一模一样的，但没想到我们的爱是不健全的，我们无法在肉体深处紧紧相拥，彼此占有。他终于知道我们的爱在当时存在着难以消除的阻力，这样的阻力让他绝望。他开始质疑这样的爱是不是畸形，最终会毁灭在无法宣泄的本能欲望上。光有精神恋爱是不够的，我们皆凡人，我们需要最低级也是最高级的性。没有性，我们的爱是破碎的，不健全的，无法长久的。我们几乎是沉默地离开了黄山。依然象征性地买了特色小吃。芙蓉糕，油酥烧饼，五城茶干，蟹壳黄，苞芦松。他默默地付钱，将点心放进包里，转过头问我：&ldo;你还有什么想吃的？&rdo;我摇摇头，他递给我一只芙蓉糕，&ldo;这个又香又甜，很好吃。&rdo;我轻轻咬下一口，果然香甜。经过一个晚上的冷静，我们像没事似的逛着美食街，但彼此之间显然有了隔阂。早晨街上空气很好，清新中含食物的芳香，人渐渐聚拢，热热闹闹的气氛让我有了些精神，要知道我一宿没合眼，太多复杂的情绪充斥于脑中，我感到极度疲惫。今早起床后我们谁也没说话，直到刷牙洗脸完后他才开口说要买些点心回去。在返回的火车上，我终于抵不住倦意睡了过去。醒来时已经傍晚，我发现自己被盖上了薄薄的毛巾毯，他正坐在下铺翻看一份报纸。我轻轻下来。&ldo;醒了？饿了吧？我去买点东西。&rdo;我点点头。窗外是不知名的小村子。稻田，庄稼，溪水，如此淳朴自然的气息。这让我想到乡下的外婆家，小时候的我在大片大片的农田里赤脚抓青蛙，空手捞鱼，玩到傍晚才肯回到屋里，盯着外婆准备的红烧肉，白斩鸡，青菜拌豆腐等一桌子菜大流口水。外婆笑呵呵地为我夹只大鸡腿，外公常用筷子蘸点高粱让我的小嘴尝尝，刺的我咧嘴伸舌。那样单纯温暖的画面早已存入我内心最深处，在落寞，孤独时涌上心头。有时常想生活如那般简单也就知足了，一间小屋子，一个小菜园，一只老黄狗和一个爱人。此刻我如此落寞孤寂，我感到连那样小小的快乐都是不可及的。他端着两碗泡面过来，扯开包装，用热水泡好，&ldo;马上就可以吃了。&rdo;我点头。&ldo;还有一些点心。&rdo;说着他去拿包里的点心，一个个地铺满桌子。也算是一顿不错的晚餐了。&ldo;我小时候常常煮泡面吃，在锅里打个鸡蛋，放些番茄，火腿肠，别看简单，吃吃还不错。&rdo;他若无其事地说起了煮泡面的事。&ldo;那时候我母亲已经是早出晚归，心思全不在我这儿了。&rdo;他吃着面继续说，&ldo;我有时候挺恨她的，开始和她冷战，把她买回来的巧克力汽水全扔在垃圾堆里。渐渐地我书也不去读了，整天闷在游戏机房，晚上也在那过夜，根本不回家。后来她在游戏机房找到我，当场甩我几个耳光，拽我到大街上去，劈头盖脸地骂。我当时特恨她。&rdo;&ldo;那…那后来呢？&rdo;他居然和我讲她母亲的事，这在平时都是他避讳的话题。&ldo;我不听她的，继续逃学，整日混在游戏机房，不三不四的男男女女认识了一大帮，我们一起抽烟，一起喝酒泡吧，一起飙车。她开始把我关在家里，我就从窗户外溜出去，就这样我次次得逞，像野马一样脱离她的监管。她开始打我，用那种细细的晾衣叉，两三个捆成一个粗的，疯狂地抽我，我被抽的全身是伤，诅咒她去死。&rdo;他边说边拿出根烟点上，猛地吸一口，两眼直看窗外。&ldo;后来呢，她还继续打你吗？&rdo;我发觉自己在心疼他。&ldo;后来我开始反抗，她根本制不住我，我狠狠地把她推倒在地上，她的头撞在桌角上，额头一阵血流下来。&rdo;我可以想象那个场景他的愤怒，他的反抗。&ldo;她当时有点恐惧地看我，也许她明白自己已管不住我了。&rdo;他又猛吸几口烟，&ldo;后来她家也不回了，索性由着我堕落，再后来她就永远离开了，听说搭上了个离婚的男人，切，永远就只能做个不见光的姘头。&rdo;
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