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我曾经在医院陪过叶依敏做人流,那时候程阳家里的老婆正在生孩子,他走不开,只能打电话给我。站在手术室外头,我一直看着红色的手术灯发呆。几个小时后,叶依敏从麻醉中醒来,眼巴巴的看着我,看着空荡荡的病房,问我:&ldo;程阳呢?&rdo;那眼神我这辈子都忘不了,呆呆的,满眼都是荒芜,绝望到看不到一点光。那一刻我第一次产生了想要揍程阳一顿的想法。爱情不该是这样的,做男人不该让自己爱的女人那么痛苦,负不起责任就不该放纵,让女人怀孕再去人流的,那是男人吗?嘴里说着爱却和别的女人结婚,那是爱情吗?我不想做这样的男人,也不想要这样的爱情。看着天花板上精致的灯,我笃定的说:&ldo;要是越尹愿意嫁给我我这辈子就结婚,要她不愿意,我就一个人过。&rdo;我软硬不吃冥顽不灵,程阳放弃了,他临走前特别感慨的对我说:&ldo;你这反应一早在我意料之中,当年我要有你这份勇气,现在肯定不会是这样。&rdo;程阳出去没两分钟,我爸妈就一先一后的进来了,我爸一进来我就感觉到他满身的怒气。他指着我的鼻尖骂:&ldo;你这逆子是不是想气死我?你被猪油蒙了心是不是?那女人摆明了来报复你还往套里钻?!&rdo;我妈听完打岔:&ldo;话可不能这么说,当年可是他们家先给我们下绊子的,我们可是完全在自保,她家那样都是越华年胃口太大又不得人心。&rdo;她给我理了理被子又说:&ldo;儿子被人打成这样你还在这又吼又叫的!&rdo;&ldo;你就惯,你惯,你看看你把他们兄弟俩惯成什么样了?!&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;见他们有剑拔弩张拉开序幕的征兆,我有些头疼,挥挥手:&ldo;你们少在这烦,就算越尹是来报复的我也要她,你们只管在里边儿使绊子,她有什么事儿你们就没儿子了!&rdo;&ldo;纪时,你怎么和爸妈说话呢?越尹给你灌迷汤了是不是?她要是个无fèng的蛋苍蝇能叮得上去吗?你看看她招的什么人?把你打成这样!还在我面前装模作样不吭声,她这几年的事我都查过了,她自甘堕落怪得了谁?别说是咱们这样的家庭了,就普通人家也不敢要这样的媳妇儿啊!&rdo;我越听越觉得不对,挣扎着从c黄上坐起来:&ldo;你们又做什么了?你又对她胡说什么了?&rdo;难怪我醒来她不在,一定是他们对她说了什么难听的话,他们的人品和手段我太了解了。当年的事过后他们就变得步步为营,早不是从前的样子。我妈瞪大了眼睛嚷嚷:&ldo;纪时你干嘛!快躺下!&rdo;我大力拔掉了手背上正吊着的针头,挣扎着从c黄上爬起来穿着拖鞋就往外走。&ldo;纪时‐‐纪时‐‐&rdo;&ldo;逆子!&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;越尹一整天我都有些心神不宁,写报告连自己名字都写错了。虽说昨天一直守到纪时从手术室出来确认没事了才走,可心里还是牵肠挂肚,怕有个什么闪失。那个男人一凳子砸下来的时候,我觉得我整个魂儿都被一起砸没了。他满脑袋都是血的样子实在是让我觉得触目惊心。我不想再否认什么,说不爱他那就是矫情,自欺欺人。不管他给我再大的伤,我心里还是希望他好好的,好好活着,至少让我有个念想。那一刻,他一步步向我走过来的时候,我觉得我的心都是宁静的,有一种温暖的力量突然向我靠近,和很多很多年前一样。可就在三步之遥的时候,一切被戛然打断。我茫然的跟着大家一起去医院,什么都听不见也什么都看不见,耳畔只剩我自己急促的心跳和呼吸。直到那一刻我才彻底清楚,我到底有多怕失去他。等在抢救室外面,我坐立不安,他满脑袋都是血的样子在我眼前挥散不去。纪时妈妈出现在医院的时候,二话不说就扇了我一巴掌,可我感觉不到疼,我觉得纪时比我疼千倍百倍。纪家的人越来越多,纪时一个叫程阳的兄弟一直劝我先走,可我也不知道自己的固执劲是从哪来的,谁劝都不听。直到抢救结束,直到他从手术室转到高干病房。我才整个人虚脱的靠在墙上,疲惫到连手指头都举不起来,看着一拨一拨的人去到他住着的病房,我守在外面,安慰自己,至少他是安好的,这就够了。

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