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&ldo;你做的很好,宝宝在你身体里的八个多月,一直很健康,问题出在被胡茵囚禁的八个多小时里,子宫收缩得太厉害,导致胎儿的缺氧窒息。&rdo;杨牧一边说,一边用手指梳理着冬和的头发。他的情绪已经稳定很多,不象刚醒过来,得知孩子出生就死亡的时候,那么狂乱和绝望。现在的他,乖乖躺在床上,听着杨牧慢慢诉说当天晚上他昏过去以后发生的事情。脸上没有什么表情,因为身体上的无力,显得脆弱。他听到&ldo;窒息&rdo;两个字的时候,眉头不禁皱起来,明显地吸了口气,压抑着声音问:&ldo;他生下来的时候就是,死的吗?&rdo;&ldo;不是,但呼吸很微弱,抢救了三四个小时无效,才……&rdo;&ldo;嗯,我知道了。&rdo;冬和闭上眼睛,向床里缩了缩身子,双手搂着自己的肩膀,蜷成一团:&ldo;他,长的什么样子?&rdo;&ldo;非常漂亮的孩子,很乖,很勇敢。&rdo;冬和带着眼泪笑了一下:&ldo;真能骗人,刚生下来的孩子红乎乎,皱巴巴的,能怎么好看?&rdo;&ldo;我没撒谎,是真的。他一直没睁开眼睛,可是我知道,那双眼睛一定象他爸爸一样动人,他总是蹶着嘴,就象我们之前在片子里看到的那样……&rdo;&ldo;别说了!&rdo;冬和打断杨牧,他的双手捂在脸上,哽咽的声音从指缝间挤出来:&ldo;别说,求求你…&rdo;冬和说着话,身子和腿蜷在一起,抖了起来,原本颤动的声音里开始倒着气地呻吟。杨牧感觉到不对,连忙把他抱在怀里,拉开他的双手。面色青白,双目紧闭,身体上不能控制的痉挛促使他的牙齿打架,杨牧熟练地掰著他的下颚,手立刻伸进去抵住他的舌头,顺便撬开他的牙齿,在他耳边坚定地说:&ldo;乖,别咬自己,好了,马上就好了。&rdo;冬和在杨牧的怀里,感受他的心跳和熟悉的味道,紊乱的呼吸于是慢慢平静,身体上的抽搐缓解了。杨牧感到手指上的疼痛减轻,压力逐渐没了,才把自己的手从冬和的嘴里抽出来,话语开始温存:&ldo;好了,好了,没事儿了。&rdo;见冬和的脸上有了血色,眼眸睁开,视力集中能看人了,才腾出另外一只手把床头的水杯拿过来,喂到冬和的嘴边:&ldo;喝点水,来。&rdo;杨牧手上用力,扶冬和坐起来,让他就着自己的手,慢慢地饮水。冬和从那天得知孩子的事情,腹痛的毛病瞬间发作了,前两次发作的格外凶猛,嘴和舌头立刻就给咬破,疼得满床滚,最后都昏过去。后来虽然一提到孩子肚子还是会疼,但程度轻了很多,只要有人在身边顺着,情绪一稳定下来,疼痛就自然消逝了。喝过了水,杨牧把药丸放在手心,伸到冬和的面前:&ldo;把药吃了好不好?&rdo;冬和点了点头,把药吞到嘴里,喝水咽下去。杨牧让他躺下去,冬和却侧过身,面向杨牧:&ldo;哥,你让我靠一会儿?&rdo;杨牧脱鞋也上了床,躺在冬和的身边。冬和忽然靠上来,双手环抱着杨牧的腰,脸贴在他的胸前,却没有哭,只是长久地呆着,一声不响。杨牧一手在他腰间扶着,一手仍然抚弄着他柔软的头发:&ldo;小永想你想得总是哭,你要不要见见他?&rdo;冬和的手一下箍紧了,用力地往怀里钻,摇着头:&ldo;不要,我谁的孩子都不要见,别,别抱他来。&rdo;&ldo;好,好,不见他,谁都不见。&rdo;杨牧连忙安慰着又再受惊的身体。&ldo;睡吧,睡一会儿就好了。&rdo;药物渐渐起了作用,冬和开始迷糊,眼睛越发睁不开,他想留着杨牧,鼻子里发出哀求的声音:&ldo;哥,你别走,别,别丢下我。&rdo;杨牧用拥抱回应着冬和的哀求,在他的额头上轻轻印上一吻:&ldo;乖,睡吧,睡醒了说不定一切都好了!&rdo;冬和觉得自己的身体全部脱力,好象石沉入海,头顶的光亮渐渐远去,脚下是黑暗无底的海沟,他一直沉一直沉。四周的水波开始出现人形,是个血淋淋的婴儿,他沉默着,愤怒地盯着自己,仿佛在说:&ldo;我恨你!都是你的错,你的报应为什么要我来承担。&rdo;&ldo;不是的,宝宝,不是这样的!&rdo;冬和想迎上去和他解释,身后却传来小永的声音:&ldo;爸爸,爸爸,别扔下小永一个人!&rdo;冬和犹豫在两人之间,瞻前顾后,不知所措,胡茵的脸也出来了:&ldo;你活该,你自己的孩子折磨你!让你生不如死!生不如死!生不如死!&rdo;

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