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他本来想平静地诉说,但是语声却不受控制地激动起来。说到后来,他用力地一捶身旁廊柱,紧紧地咬着牙,竭力克制自己流露出更多的脆弱。&ldo;我……&rdo;她吓得瞪大了眼,慌乱地道歉,&ldo;我……对不起,我没有那个意思的,我……&rdo;她并不想见他这样难过呀!光是这样看着他的背影,她的心都痛了。&ldo;那你是什么意思?&rdo;&ldo;我──&rdo;被他突然一问,她竟一时哑口。&ldo;你就是这个意思吧。&rdo;他喉头一紧,闭上了眼。为什么要逞强?他其实多么希望她能说些什么来安慰他。但是……他知道这是奢求,心硬如她是根本不可能给他任何回应的!&ldo;才不是!&rdo;她握紧了拳头,激烈地反驳,&ldo;我只是……只是看不惯你这样明明难过,却还硬撑着,假装什么事都没有。你不应该这样逃避的!&rdo;&ldo;我是逃避,至少这样我不用天天面对那些痛苦的回忆。这样又有什么错?&rdo;&ldo;你从不尝试治好它吗?&rdo;她激动地走向他,拉住他的衣袖。&ldo;有啊,我曾试过。&rdo;他想留下她,那就是他最积极的努力了。他睁开眼睛,眼神认真得让她心慌。她的心跳突然变得好快又好急,她的世界陷入一片寂静,除了自己剧烈的心跳声外,什么也听不见。&ldo;你……试过什么了?&rdo;她陷在他眼神所构织的绵密情网里,傻傻地问着。&ldo;已经失败的事,又何必再提。&rdo;徒惹她烦恼而已。他狠啧了一声,用力别开头。他在做什么?他是为了斩断对她的依恋才带她来这里,为什么不想让她走的念头反而一刻比一刻加剧?他这举动是不是从头就错了?他拉着她的手,掉头便要离开跨院。&ldo;你要走了吗?&rdo;他的探望真就只是这样?!&ldo;再待下去已经没有意义了。&rdo;他的声音浮着烦躁,用力地拉过她。&ldo;我们回去。&rdo;她根本没有抗议的余地,他便已强硬地将她抱起,一如来时般飞身回去。她紧紧地攀着他,咬着下唇不敢发出半丝声音。他究竟带她到这儿来做什么?他所谓的意义又是什么?她拚命地想理出一点头绪,但她的脑中根本就乱成一团。从很早以前开始,她的脑子便已丧失作用,别说思考,连自己的心情都搞不清了!就像现在,她也不知道她的鼻子为什么这么酸?为什么这么想紧紧抱着他,永远也不放手?飒飒的夜风在耳边呼啸而过,却依旧吹不散她心中的迷惘。当她惊觉时,他已安稳地让她双脚落地了。他尽职地将她送回松风阁。&ldo;时候已经很晚了,你快点休息吧。&rdo;他说完,便急着想要离开。&ldo;你──&rdo;她望着他亟欲离去的背影,突然激动地叫住他,不想这样让他离开。听到她的声音,他的脚步顿住。他停驻了短短半秒,心中却已翻覆挣扎过不下千万次。他实在不该再这样拖下去了!再这样下去,他只会永远吊在悬崖的边上,永远也不得解脱!最后一次咬牙,他握紧了拳头,强迫自己从牙关中迸出声音。&ldo;明天……&rdo;他握拳紧得都快滴出血来了,却一再警戒自己,这次他绝不能再改变心意。&ldo;明天我便吩咐孙勤让他送你回去吧!至于对你的补偿……这府中的东西,只要你喜欢,你可以尽量拿走!&rdo;不等她的回答,他急急快步就定,再也待不住一时半刻了。她的娇躯猛然一震,怎么也没想到他竟是开口要送她离去。虽然那明明是她极力争取来的,但从他口中说出来的那一刻,她的力气好像突然被抽光了一般,双腿一软,便跌坐在门边。他的背影消失在松风阁的围墙外,但她的眼神仍胶着地追寻着他。月光依旧照着整片大地,但她视线中的世界却竟然开始模糊。他的话在她耳里乱糟槽地不停回响,她却只听到自己讷讷的声音飘散在冰凉的空气中。&ldo;为什么……为什么……&rdo;为什么要这么快就放弃?就在她已经开始着魔的时候。厉祯站在庭外,冷眼看着小厮从库中拖出车辇,正卖力地套着缰辔。
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