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钟荩点点头。&ldo;那我和你一块去打个招呼。&rdo;花蓓担心节外生枝。&ldo;不用,我就说几句话。如果这点小事能压倒我,那我现在肯定不是站着,而是早就在地上爬着了。&rdo;花蓓看看她,&ldo;最多半个小时。&rdo;&ldo;四十分钟。&rdo;她讨价还价,把花蓓逗乐了。花蓓走了,她朝哑巴走过去。哑巴眼神黯了黯,把身子往后又缩了缩,这下,钟荩是看不到他脸上的任何神情。但从他重重的呼吸声中,她感觉到他的心情不太稳定。钟荩微笑招呼,拂了拂哑巴身边的一块青石,坐了下来。哑巴倏地握起双拳,不知是紧张,还是局促。无形的压力令他全身都紧绷了,他想走开,腿却如千斤重,一点都迈不动。又一记钟声回荡地山林上空,是尼姑们要吃晚膳了,还是要祈祷。当佛寺成为旅游景点,不知不觉,一些规律默然跟着改变。当最后一个音符消失在半空中,钟荩轻轻叹了口气,说道:&ldo;其实一个人的生活也没想像中那么可怕。你看这里的人,她们也是父母孕育,有兄弟姐妹,说不定也经历过爱恨情愁。但此刻,她们静如止水,安然地与清灯古佛相伴,默守着日升月落。一天一天就这样过去了,谈不上悲,也谈不上喜。谁能说这样的人生没有意义?&rdo;她微微侧下头看向哑巴,哑巴目光中充满痛楚纠结。&ldo;但是我没有安排自己人生的权利,我还是要恋爱、结婚、生子,这是我的义务,也是不可逃避的责任。人为什么要恋爱呢?不是耐不住寂寞,也不是害怕孤单。在合适的年龄恋爱,你才是社会上一个正常人。恋爱,不仅带给我们心动的感觉,更多的是让我们获得一份安全感、一份社会尊重感。&rdo;如果她有一个名正言顺的男友,哪里有机会让有心人拍下那张照片?钟荩自嘲地撇嘴。哑巴除了沉默,还是沉默。暮色越来越深了,最后一丝余晖在视野里一点点褪去。钟荩打开包包,从夹层里摸出那只追踪器,哑巴的脸色突然大变。她端详了一会,手抬起,&ldo;凌瀚,你已经没有爱我的资格,那么,别再偷窥我的人生,因为那和你无关。&rdo;41,猎鹿人(四)这张脸黝黑粗犷,被浓密的胡须遮去了大半的面容,头发蓬乱如杂糙,衣衫又皱又脏,一时间,即使觉得他似曾相识,但绝不会认为是自己所熟知的某人。几次相见,要么是远远的看一眼,要么就是暮色四起时。这样的一个人在脑海中不会停留很久的。可是他错了,她是钟荩,不是别人。她曾是他最最亲密的人,他的气息,他抽烟的姿势,特别是他的眼神,哪怕是在人群之中,她也能第一眼就认出他来。他告诉过她,有时为了挖出罪犯的同伙与老窝,他会乔装成最不起眼的人跟踪罪犯。她问是不是易容术,他大笑,我还江湖大侠呢,没那么夸张,稍微弄下就可以了。看守所前的惊鸿一瞥,她慌乱地掩饰住了。花蓓说她是个傻瓜,是个笨蛋,为了他临走前的一句&ldo;我爱你&rdo;,她在江州等了三年。是的,她又犯傻了。她想,这么费尽心计地出现在她的面前,是因为在意么?不肯枯烬的心又蠢蠢欲动。一千次一万次地说死心,只要出现一点光明,她还如飞蛾般扑上去。她不动声色地期待着。安镇之行,他的一路相伴,让她心满是戚戚。在火车上,他急速缩回的手,让她想乐。他疏忽了遮掩那个月牙型的疤痕。他没有食言,他终于陪她回过安镇,只是油菜花还没有开盛。那两天,真是最最幸福的时光,有小姨、小姨父,有何劲和红叶,还有他。在小巷、田埂,她能感觉到他默默相随的目光。去江州的路上,她突然决定中途下车,是因为汤辰飞的电话,还有她想在一个完全陌生的地方,他会对她如何?这是他爱她的方式么,怕她不能原谅她,只敢这样接近?他仍隐身在黑暗之中。在那个雨天的傍晚,常昊过来接她。下车时,到宁城打工的小情侣问常昊是不是她男友,她非常认真地否认了。她知道他也在车上,她是说给他听。就在胡微蓝向她出示她&ldo;勾引&rdo;牧涛的罪证照片时,她的白日梦戛然惊醒。
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