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&ldo;忙吗?&rdo;纪允的声音还是一如既往的动听。&ldo;不忙,今天放假。&rdo;&ldo;嗯,我知道你放假。&rdo;他顿了顿声说:&ldo;你现在是不是在仁爱看病?&rdo;我没想到他会突然说到这个,愣了一下,喉间有些干涩,我咳了两声才回答:&ldo;对。&rdo;&ldo;给你看病的是我师姐,不同专业但是还算熟悉。&rdo;我没有问,他却先发制人的解释了。&ldo;嗯。&rdo;&ldo;今天你要没事来一趟仁心。我们医院的三个教授可以给你会诊,早治早好。&rdo;我沉默着没说话,每件事都要承纪允的情,每承一分我的愧疚感就浓一分。回想起大学的时候。也不知道纪允是怎么神通广大的找到了我。每年上北京的大学生几十万,在陈圆圆给我藏了档案的情况下,他能大海捞针的把我找出来,真真让我佩服。而他的神通广大对比的,是纪时的不闻不问,我心凉。彼时,他在美国读大学,每个星期都会给我写e-ail,当时的我没有电脑,一个月上一次机房,忙着打工,给他的回复也不过寥寥数语,但他毫不在乎,一周一封e-ail从不间断。他偶尔会给我邮件照片,他在美国街头的,在校园的,在实验室的,偶尔也有合影,和鬼佬的,和中国人的,还有圣诞节狂欢的。他给我描绘了另一种我无法触及的生活。大二圣诞节的前一个月,他给我发了一张他和许多医学院学生的合影。他站在最角落,气质翩然笑容和煦,仍是显眼。他在邮件的最后写着:越尹,我身边的位置仍是空着,如若愿意,你随时可以回来。我看完,几乎手足无措,喉间一紧,只能慌忙的关闭了邮箱,狼狈的离开了机房。那之后我再没有去开过我的邮箱。我欠纪允的情债太多了,只能来生再还。平安夜那天,纪允突然出现在我宿舍楼下。带着一脸春风和煦的笑容,点亮了凛冽阴寒的北国冬日。我穿着羽绒服和他迈步在校园的cao场上。cao场中央有学生会的干事们在紧张的布置着什么。大约是平安夜的集体活动。我出神的看着他们,连纪允和我说话都没有注意。他拍了拍我的肩,温柔的抱怨:&ldo;好不容易回来一趟,你就这样接待我?&rdo;我不好意思的道歉:&ldo;对不起。&rdo;&ldo;傻瓜。&rdo;他摸了摸我的头:&ldo;你明知道我要的不是这个。&rdo;他的一句话像丢入平静池塘的石子,惊起涟漪阵阵。我一言不发,紧张的握着拳。平安夜的雪如约而至,一点一点飘飞在空中,落在我的羽绒服上,融化成一个一个深色水印。不按规则,没有头绪。纪允平缓的呼吸,呼出的热气在空中化作一团白雾,良久,他轻轻叹了一口气,说道:&ldo;越尹,你知道我回来是为什么吗?&rdo;我有些迟钝的转过头,茫然的看着他,不知道为什么,他接下来要说的话我竟然早有预感。&ldo;快两年了,我觉得你该忘了。&rdo;他不经意便触到我心底最疼的伤,我下意识的转了视线。&ldo;我喜欢你,你也应该知道。我还是希望你能回到我身边来,我觉得我能好好的照顾你。&rdo;雪越下越大,地上渐渐开始有了一点白茫的厚度,这座城市仅剩的一点绿意也被渐渐覆盖。我抬起头,看着灰蒙蒙的天,良久才幽幽回答:&ldo;对不起。&rdo;纪允似是意料之中的看着我,半晌咯咯的笑起来:&ldo;意料之中。&rdo;&ldo;对不起。&rdo;除了这句话,我不知道自己还能说什么。&ldo;你还在想过去的事?&rdo;我抿了抿唇,目光投向远方:&ldo;我是交满了租金的房客,不住我就亏了,房子确实不合适,可我舍不得花掉的钱。&rdo;纪允还是笑:&ldo;是吗,好房子可是不等人的,你真的不考虑了吗?&rdo;&ldo;等我租金用完的时候吧。&rdo;&ldo;要多久呢?&rdo;&ldo;也许,一辈子。&rdo;那天纪允一直对我笑,我绝情上楼的时候他也在笑。仿佛他只会那么一个表情。平安夜的雪下的很大,这座城市不一会儿便进入皑皑白雪的怀抱。我一回寝室就钻进了被子,那天的暖气很燥,燥的我全身的水分都似乎被蒸干了,我很想哭,可我却一滴眼泪都流不出来。
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