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她安详地:&ldo;桑筱,我等不到那天了,&rdo;她示意我跟龙斐陌走近,然后,看着我们俩,微微一笑,&ldo;能看到你有个好归宿,我已经很满足很满足了。&rdo;她充满眷恋地看着我,一个字一个字地,极其微弱地:&ldo;要是……要是……&rdo;她欲言又止了一下,最终缓缓地,&ldo;……也会……很高兴……&rdo;她疲惫地闭上了双眼。我呆呆地抱膝坐在窗台前。自从安姨的丧礼之后,我一直维持着这个姿势,已经一天一夜没有吃喝,我的脚边,放着一个小小的雕花盒子,是安姨留给我唯一的纪念,我没有勇气打开它,我只是怔怔地看着。我永远没有办法接受,上个星期还好好的她,现在已经与我天人永隔。一个人影走近:&ldo;桑筱。&rdo;我闻到一阵鸡汤的味道。我不理不睬。他几乎是有些粗鲁地抓住我的手腕,把我从窗前直接拽了下来:&ldo;把汤喝掉!&rdo;我任由他抓着我,垂着头不吭声,他伸出手,重重捏住我的下巴,随即,一个汤勺出现在我眼前。他面无表情地就要将盛满鸡汤的汤勺往我嘴里灌。一时间,不知道为什么,我拼命挣扎,籍由眼前的一切发泄心头所有的愤懑和悲伤。他任由我挣扎,半晌之后,突然冷冷地:&ldo;这算什么?&rdo;他&ldo;当啷&rdo;一声,将汤勺远远抛开,&ldo;人死不能复生,她活的时候你尚且不能顾她周全,现在这样有什么用?&rdo;我颓然低头,一阵木然。他总是能轻易踩到我的软肋。是,他说得对,世界上最疼我的那个人已经去了,这是不争的事实,我再怎样,还能有什么用?!很久很久没有一丝动静。我仍旧固执地坐着,一动不动。又过了很久,他淡淡地:&ldo;想哭就不要憋着。&rdo;几乎是同时,他伸出手来,轻轻抱住我。黑暗中,我静静看着他深幽的眼睛。我还是没有哭,我只是一件一件地讲给他听:&ldo;三岁那年,安姨来到我家,六岁那年,我半夜发高烧,咳个不停,家里人都睡下了,爸爸不在家,妈妈出去打牌,是她大台风夜背着我去看病,路上她告诉我,实在难受就咳到她身上,病就可以传给她,这是她们家乡的风俗……&rdo;&ldo;九岁那年,友铂弄丢了爸爸最喜欢的一枚田黄冻印章,他很害怕,央我顶下来,爸爸气急了,拿那种很粗的藤条一鞭一鞭打我,是安姨用手臂护住了我,打到后来,爸爸还是很生气,随手丢了一个水晶烟灰缸过来,砸到了安姨头上,砸得她头破血流,可是,她一声都不吭。&rdo;&ldo;十五岁那年,我跟桑瞳一起去学国画,后来桑瞳不学了,家里人也不让我再学,安姨很生气,她也骂我,骂我脾气太犟,不肯低头不肯辩,她后来又说,做人不能软骨头,我知道,她一直不喜欢我们家……&rdo;&ldo;再后来,有一天,我放学回来,突然就看不到她了……&rdo;龙斐陌一直安静地,耐心地听着。我的眼光,落到了脚旁的那个小盒子上:&ldo;我曾经想过,我要拼命赚钱,总有一天,我可以凭自己的努力把她从疗养院接出来,请专人服侍她,照顾她,&rdo;我抱起那个盒子,轻轻放在膝上,&ldo;可是,我上辈子没好好积福,连这样的小愿望,也实现不了。&rdo;我一遍又一遍摩挲着那个小小的盒子,不再开口。不知过了多久,那支手臂依然轻轻环着我。龙斐陌的脸与我的几乎近在咫尺,他注视着我:&ldo;十五岁那年,我爸爸去世,十六岁那年,我妈妈也病逝了,我跟斐阁没有回国,按爸爸生前的意愿留在美国继续念书。&rdo;他侧了侧头,神情很是平和,&ldo;十年很长,却也很短,还记得那年,纽约的冬天真冷,地上满是厚厚的雪,我带着发高烧的斐阁冒雪穿过唐人街去看病,一转眼,一夕之间似乎也就过来了。&rdo;&ldo;一念地狱,一念天堂,&rdo;他顿了片刻,转过头去看窗外,淡淡地,&ldo;若当真论起挫折伤痛,桑筱,你只怕还远远不够格。&rdo;我抬头看他,他也回眸看我,他依旧神色清冷,言语简洁甚至冷漠,可是我明白,或许,他是在用自己的方式安慰我。在安姨安葬前后,我一直恍惚,从丧礼安排,到琐碎细节,乃至挑选墓地,完全是他一手cao办。

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