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我读不懂这样的情绪。但我仍本能地想要保护自己。我继续朝后又退了一步,半晌之后,我听到自己的声音,极其勉强地:&ldo;对不起,龙先生,不早了……&rdo;我话刚一说完,没等他回覆,就飞快地转身向外走去。我越走越快,快到门边的时候,几乎接近于小跑。我并不迟钝,我本能地闻到了某种陌生的,类似于危险的气息。很快我就十分顺利地找到了门锁,心情也瞬间由紧张转为轻松。突然,我的身后笼过来一道阴影,那种危险的气息越来越接近,我的心跳也开始加速,我拼命用力扭转门锁,手心开始微微沁汗。刚打开一条小fèng,我的身后蓦地伸过一条手臂,我还没来得及反应过来,就只听到重重的一声,门在我眼前密密阖上。瞬间,我的身体被大力反扳过来,抵在门后。我接触到一双没有任何表情的眸子。我几乎是立刻反应过来,拼命挣扎:&ldo;你要干什么?!&rdo;我的意识居然还很清醒,我从牙fèng中迸出一句话,&ldo;放开我,不然我要叫人了!&rdo;他恍若未闻,他的唇角微微一牵,他竟然在微笑:&ldo;你可以试试。&rdo;接下来发生的事,在很长很长时间以后,对我而言,都犹如梦境。他静静地,略带评判地看着我,而我的身体,一直在微微发抖。我从没有这么害怕过。察觉到这点,他的唇边似乎勾起微小的弧度。尔后,他慢慢地,但没有任何迟疑地俯下头来。我愣了一下。一个声音在我耳边:&ldo;太迟了。&rdo;几乎在十秒之后,我才意识到,我正在被一个几乎陌生的男人非礼,而或许,他还会以为我是故意延宕在他的房间。这层认知令我感到无比的屈ru。我一边带着愤怒和羞ru地拼命闪躲,一边拼尽全身力气反抗,我踢他,打他,推他。但是,我的唇被他紧紧堵住,我的双手被他反剪到身后,我的腿,也被他压住,就连动也动不了。很快我就筋疲力尽,但完全不能撼动他哪怕分毫。我几乎是绝望地发现,男人和女人之间,相差无比悬殊。可是,我不可以坐以待毙。于是,我几乎是不假思索地,用力朝他的唇咬下去。我咬得很重,几乎用尽我全身所有的力气。可是,他依然没有任何反应。他的脸和我的脸近在咫尺,他的眉头未曾有丝毫皱折,那股淡淡的烟糙味依然在我唇舌之间密密蔓延。不一会儿,我还闻到了淡淡的血腥味。是他的血。他仿佛没有任何知觉,仍然维持着原有的姿势,他的唇甚至开始向我的耳畔慢慢延伸。我们就这样纠缠在一起。不知过了多久,他的头终于抬了起来。他直视着我,而我在微微喘气,我也看着他,我的脸上,依然有着浓浓的愤恨。他的唇角还残留着淡淡的血痕,在柔柔的灯光下,他一贯没有多余表情的脸上,竟然现出浅浅的,意味不明的微笑。只是片刻之后,他的微笑渐渐收敛,他松开我,我听到他静静的声音在如斯黑夜里,似冰冷珠盘跌落:&ldo;我说过,不会有下次。&rdo;很快我就毕业了。让我有些意外的是,乔楦居然好巧不巧跟贞子先生找到了同一家报社,鉴于如今在任何一个城市居,都大不易,她也只好忍气吞声地甘为五斗米折腰。但还是由于心情不慡经常跟我嘀嘀咕咕的。我已经退掉了原先租的房子,跟乔楦搬到了一起,两室一厅,房租均摊。离开俞家的时候,我把所有的信用卡放在了房间的梳妆台上。以后,我要完全靠自己了。我每周都定期去看安姨,陪她聊聊天,解解闷。我彻彻底底跟龙家兄弟划清了界线,对偶尔前来寻访的龙斐阁也避之三尺而不见。我只是普通得近乎平庸的一介世俗,在红尘中摸爬打滚,有一个乔楦这样大大咧咧,有点拜金又仗义的朋友,有刚刚够用的金钱,有一份还算稳定的工作,已经算是上天厚待我。而且,虽然失去了一段情,但我还没来得及对爱情完全绝望。因此,我渴望能出现一个平凡然而善良的男孩子来关心我,爱我,和我一起,面对所有的一切。至于那个危险可怕的男人,我惹不起。我相信,他也只是闲极无聊一时起意。这种逢场作戏的纨绔子弟,我平日里听得见得太多了,拿感情当游戏,拿寂寞当遮羞布。权当噩梦一场。
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