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正是他,给安姨挑选了一块虽然小巧,但依山傍水的最后憩息地。我迟疑了片刻,伸出手去轻轻触摸了一下他的背,低低然而感激地:&ldo;谢谢。&rdo;夜深人静,我轻轻打开那个盒子。里面是一封信,一张存折,还有一张照片。信上是我熟悉的,略带歪歪扭扭的字迹:&ldo;桑筱,我知道自己日子不多了,这些钱是我存下来的,虽然少,但是我的一片心意,留给你以后的孩子作见面礼,那张照片,你好好保存着,什么都别说什么都别问,总有一天,你会明白的……&rdo;越到后面字迹越模糊不清难以辨认,我放下信,拿起那张照片,上面是一个清秀的少妇紧紧抱着一个胖乎乎的小婴儿,脸上挂着温馨而略带忧郁的笑,我仔细看着,不由心头大震。我的手微微颤抖着,翻到照片背面,看到一行极其纤秀的字:妈妈和小小摄于小小满月。我的手开始微微发抖,小小,小小,小小……只有安姨在没人的时候悄悄这么叫我,可是,照片上那个跟我的容貌依稀有几分相似的女子,并不是安姨。我把头埋进膝里,桑瞳的话再一次回响在我耳边,在此时此刻的万籁俱寂中,格外清晰――&ldo;你是俞家人心头的一根刺,你知道什么是刺吗……&rdo;&ldo;你知道什么是刺吗……&rdo;&ldo;你知道什么是刺吗……&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;我有些茫然地抬起头来,再次看向那张照片上的那个女子,我一瞬不瞬盯着看,仿佛要将那个清秀温婉的容颜烙进我的脑海最深处。因为她,并不是我叫了二十三年妈妈的那一个。自从安姨那件事后,龙斐陌在家的时间比以前略多,有时候,他跟我们一起坐在沙发上看看电视,或是拿着一本财经杂志半躺着浏览,有时候,我跟斐阁对弈,他也会一言不发地坐在一旁观看。他是一个很好的观众,无论斐阁闹腾得多么沸反盈天,他都熟视无睹,毫不动容,偶尔我抬起头,会看到他若有所思地注视着我,又或者,注视我身后不远处的某一点。更多的时候,他径自上楼,在书房里一直待到深夜。偶尔,夜深人静的时候,我会听到隔壁房间传来轻微的&ldo;咔嗒&rdo;一声,意味着他已经回房休息。从安姨去世以后,我一直睡得很不好。我几乎夜夜噩梦。我梦到雷雨交加的夜晚,个子矮小的我,穿着单薄的睡衣,一个人赤脚站在宽大的客厅窗户前,害怕地看着窗外的雷雨闪电。我拼命叫着家里所有的人,没有人回答我。我梦到我站在安姨的c黄前,她睡得很安稳,阳光照耀在她脸上,小小的房间里一片暖意,可她的脸色十分十分苍白,她闭着眼就是不理我,我喊她叫她摇她,跟以前一样,要推她出去晒太阳,可是,无论我怎么用力推,都推不动她,始终推不动她。我还梦到我一个人,大雨瓢泼的夜里,深一脚浅一脚跋涉着,跟着前面一个苗条纤秀的身影,我一直费力地跟着她,偶尔她回头,向我嫣然一笑,是照片上的那张面孔,她笑着柔柔地轻唤我:&ldo;小小,小小……&rdo;旋即飘然远去,我发足狂奔,一路追上去,追到一个高高的悬崖边上,前面已无进路,我到处看,到处找,可是,那个人影已经杳然,突然间,我脚下一陷,直直地朝悬崖下面落去……我拼命挣扎着,我听到自己的声音:&ldo;妈妈,妈妈……&rdo;我沁出了一身的汗,我的身体在轻轻颤抖。突然,一只手轻摇我的脸:&ldo;桑筱,桑筱,桑筱……&rdo;我茫然地,慢慢睁开眼睛。我看到一张放大的脸出现在我面前,我又闻到了那种淡淡的烟糙气息,他穿着睡袍,正弯腰看我。片刻,他坐到我身旁,伸出手臂扶起我:&ldo;桑筱,你又做噩梦了。&rdo;我定定地一直看着他,他伸手到c黄边,抽出纸巾递给我,我无言接过,擦了擦脸,擦到眼角处,我的手触到了淡淡的湿意。我轻轻吁了一口气:&ldo;吵到你了?&rdo;他也看着我,过了半晌淡淡地:&ldo;我听到你房里有动静,就过来看看。&rdo;我低下头去,又过了很久:&ldo;对不起。&rdo;

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