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秦素闭着眼,雪白的身子上满是新新旧旧的痕迹。还有……脸上未干的泪痕。双脚被打开,那令人羞耻的地方被明亮的烛光暴露地一干二净。这具身子早就脏了,那就脏了吧,反正,不过是皮囊一具。腰被抬高,脚被分开,身子被进入,秦素流露出几丝似有若无的啜泣,似是疼痛,似是欢愉……这具身体,早就是被调教到能轻易上瘾的美味。李骥低低出了一口气,温热紧致的小穴包裹着他,秦素微微的泣音诱惑着他,还有他脸上的泪痕……忍不住粗暴地律动了起来,逼得秦素再也忍不住那种带着哭腔的呻吟。身子好热,昨晚还被过度使用的地方怎么受得住这样的索取,于是快感伴随着痛楚。真的流血了,顺着白皙的大腿落到了床单上,血红一片。纤细的身子就好像是要被撕裂了一般,让人崩溃的痛与快感接连不断,就好像要生生扯断他的敏感纤细的神经。会死掉的……秦素忍不住觉得恐惧。死了……不好么?似乎是觉察到身下的人的失神,李骥不悦地一个深入,迫使秦素回过神来。哀哀地低泣了一声,失去了最后一丝力气。眼前一黑,就这么晕了过去。然后是被更粗暴无礼地弄醒,到最后他自己都不清楚是梦是醒。其实……他一直都没有从梦里醒来吧……一直,都在梦里。梦里,秦家在一场离奇的大火中消失;梦里,他似乎爱上了他的仇人王宗炎;梦里,他发现自己从头到尾都在错;梦里,他爱上了最最不该爱的人。梦里,他发现……原来自己一直是醒着的。醒着的,看着一切悲剧的发生,却无能为力。尽弃前尘醒来,毫无理由的醒来。身子很疼,屋里很黑。似乎还没有清洗过,也没有上药。秦素艰难地起身,几乎是爬着绕过了熟睡的李骥,下床。脚一软,倒在地上,还是今晚受伤流血的地方着地,疼的他顿时连声音都发不出来。过了好久才恢复了一点力气,秦素痛苦地起身,给自己倒了一点水,喝了一小口,然后觉得力气又恢复了一些。出了房门,要门口的侍卫打了一些水,在没人的房间自己洗干净身子,可惜找不到药,只好作罢。提起笔,在宣纸上写了王宗炎要他转达的话:【忠臣已尽神孙死,却建浮图说报恩。是你这个伪君子赢了他这个真小人,天意。】沉默良久,又提笔一句:【生当复来归,死当长相思】换了一身纯白的衣裳,拿起那柄一直带在身上的匕首,收好,出门。&ldo;现在什么时辰了?&rdo;秦素的声音很低,还有几分沙哑。&ldo;丑时正(2a)。&rdo;侍卫低垂着头不敢看他,恭敬地回答。&ldo;帮我叫一辆马车,我要回家。&rdo;秦素取出李骥给他的令牌,低声说道。&ldo;现在城门已关,公子大概出不去了。&rdo;侍卫说道。&ldo;我回秦家。&rdo;秦素闭上眼,说道。他一个人的秦家。&ldo;是。&rdo;……坐在马车上,一路摇晃。身体很疲倦,可是精神却很清醒。都结束了。快乐的,悲伤的,痛苦的……都完了。他本想两全,秦家和王宗炎。到最后,他谁都没有成全。他谁都欠。‐‐【世事不能求全,若是太贪心,只怕你两方都要亏欠】四娘这么告诉他。不幸言中还是言中的都是不幸。到最后,一语成谶。&ldo;秦公子,到了。&rdo;车夫半夜被拖起来赶车,原本很不乐意,但是听说眼前这个人便是秦素,不由多了几分好奇。&ldo;谢谢你,老伯。&rdo;秦素轻声说。车夫急忙摇头说不敢。&ldo;谢谢你送我这一程。&rdo;秦素笑得有几分缥缈,淡淡的,倦倦的。原来秦素是这样的人,车夫低下头暗暗给了评价。难得的平易近人,还很礼貌,性子也温和,完全不是传言中的样子。秦素下车,脚步还不稳,却摇摇晃晃地敲开了秦家的大门。修葺完了他并没有回来住,只是偶尔来看一眼。管家虽然好奇难得一见的主人居然回来了,还是在这样的半夜。但还是殷勤地伺候着。&ldo;我累了,你且下去吧。&rdo;秦素遣退了所有人,一个人进了房间。新的房间散发出新屋特有的气味,陌生得令秦素怀疑自己是不是在秦家。他从小长大的地方……什么时候已经陌生至此了。
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