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坐在过山车的椅子里,我好像身上长了跳蚤一样坐立不安,时不时就要检查身上的安全装置到底是不是完好,会不会中途突然松开。迟默坐在我身边,低声笑起来,&ldo;别紧张,我记得你以前胆子是很大的,蹦极都不怕。&rdo;&ldo;我已经25岁了,哪能和以前相比呢?&rdo;我撇撇嘴巴,苦笑说,&ldo;很多东西,以前不怕,可现在愈发胆小了……人都是这样吧,年纪越大,顾虑得越多。&rdo;迟默看了我一会,突然伸手握住我的手,&ldo;你看,我也是会怕的。&rdo;那只手湿漉漉的,手指冰凉,我受惊了似的想要收回手,却抽不出,迟默执着地握着,&ldo;诚实,我也会怕,所以别放开我。&rdo;车子缓缓开动,我跟迟默双手交握着,他的骨节有些发白。其实过山车又有什么难的呢?闭上眼睛,放声尖叫,只要把心里头的恐慌豁出去,车子一动,就再不用回头。身体在呼啸而过的风中升高又冲下,在高空中转着一个个危险的圈圈,耳边全是游人们刺激的尖叫,可我和迟默只是紧紧握着彼此的手,已经到了疼痛的程度。我转过头看着迟默,呼啸的风中我眯起眼,头发乱七八糟地打在脸上,而他闭着眼睛,脸色惨白。他终归还是怕的。害怕是人类最奢侈的一种情绪,因为有它,好多精彩就在眼前,他却选择闭上眼睛。好多风景,好多感情,终是错过了。我静静地看了一会,也默默转回头去,闭上了眼睛。&ldo;好些没?&rdo;&ldo;唔……没事……&rdo;迟默的嗓音相当虚弱,瘫倒在一旁的长椅里,无力地用手臂搭在额头上。我笑着递给他一瓶水,他刚刚下来以后就开始干呕,真的是不适合玩这种刺激游戏,两腿抖得跟筛糠一样。&ldo;这是第一次,多练习一下就会好的。&rdo;迟默见我那略带促狭的笑容,似乎有些羞窘,笨拙地解释,&ldo;真的,其实根本不难,闭上眼睛就好了。&rdo;&ldo;我知道。&rdo;我笑了笑,我怎么会不知道?就好像明明你就在我面前,我以为我这辈子都无法忘记,其实却没那么难。只要明白,车子开了,就没有回头路。&ldo;谢谢你,迟默。&rdo;我笑着坐在他身边,轻声说,&ldo;起码在25岁之前,有你来陪我搭了过山车,而我不是一个人。&rdo;迟默的身体僵硬了一下,&ldo;我可以一直陪你来。&rdo;我没说话,过了一会,轻声说,&ldo;总经理对我很好,我喜欢他……你也要跟罗怡好好的,不要闹脾气。&rdo;我猜他会皱眉,或者不忿。可他没有。他只是沉默了一会,依然用手臂遮住眼睛,&ldo;他不如我。&rdo;&ldo;可他需要我。&rdo;我说,&ldo;他不需要别人,也不会突然丢了我。&rdo;突然觉得找恋人跟养孩子是一样的道理,人太穷,养不起,即使再痛再不舍,也要把他丢掉。当有了钱,想要找回当初丢掉的那个孩子,却早就已经不认你了。听了我这个论调,迟默沉沉地笑了出来,那笑声好像是从胸腔里震荡出的难过,伴着锥心的疼。&ldo;诚实,再倒退回五年,我们会不会不一样?&rdo;不会。我知道,他最重要的东西永远不是我。所以,再倒退回五年,迟默依然会选择罗怡,而不是我。我想了想,笑着说,&ldo;再倒退五年,我会早点找一个男朋友,绝对不让你吻我。&rdo;他便不说话了,只是笑。夕阳越来越低,颜色却越来越浓烈,我们之间的相处时间变得越来越少,但仍然谁都没有起身,不想先走。便都沉默着。这一天明明过得很平静,可我却忍不住有些心酸。身边报亭老板还在不遗余力地吆喝着想要把剩下的几份日报卖掉,嘴里一刻不停的都是林氏现在的财务状况和公关危机。我轻轻叹了口气,&ldo;迟默,林嘉也欺负得差不多了,看在老爷子的份上,轻点折腾。&rdo;迟默把手臂放下,眼底微微有些泛红,别别扭扭地不肯看我,只哼了一声,&ldo;我已经给林老留了面子,不然哪是一块地皮这么简单。&rdo;我嗤笑起来,起身伸了个懒腰,&ldo;算了,反正他活该。&rdo;迟默歪着头看我。也许是阳光的关系,他清俊的面庞好像藏在雾里,怎么也看不清楚,只有一双琥珀色的瞳仁熠熠闪光。
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