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门外站着徐文耀,沉静的脸色看不出什么表情,只是扫了李天阳一眼,目光锐利如刀。他身上冒着寒气,已不知在外面听了多久。徐文耀只瞥了李天阳一眼,随后意味不明地笑了笑,颔首走进病房,再当着李天阳的面,轻轻地,把门关上。听到啪嗒一声的时候,徐文耀忽然就按捺不住了。心底有种狂躁被引发了上来,大概从听到屋里这个男人深情并茂的表白开始,不可谓不动人,不可谓不真实,说到后来,那男人仿佛还声音哽噎,似有说不出的懊悔和沉痛,这些都不容易装。但问题在于,连他都觉得感人肺腑的陈述,王铮还带着旧时的感伤和记忆,怎么可能不被打动?但是,他不喜欢王铮被打动。说不上什么理由,他忽然发觉自己很反感王铮跟李天阳在一起,反感的程度不容置疑地增大,已经到了令他要按捺不住,找点什么法子让这两人分开的地步。无论如何也不能让这两个人再在一起,他对自己说,他们不合适,他们不会有好日子,王铮折腾不起,他不能任由王铮再陷入同一个泥潭,再经历同样的煎熬,他厌恶那种事情发生。不管出于多么真诚的忏悔,由李天阳多么声泪俱下地表演出来,都是令人生厌的,这种厌恶纯粹来自生理层面,就如裸露的肌肤上爬过冰凉的爬虫动物,令人本能想远远甩开。他非常清楚,自己根本不是什么道德卫士,他在每段关系中不同时脚踏两条船,但不代表他就相信忠诚的必要性,而只不过是他将一对一的原则定为自己理性行为的前提,他知道王铮为此伤痕累累,但他的心疼,纯粹是因为受伤的对象是王铮,而不是因为情伤这种事情值得怜悯。那么,如此从生理层面厌恶李天阳,却是因为什么?徐文耀在脑子里设想了一下李天阳跟王铮相拥哭泣,破镜重圆的场景,一股怒火顷刻从尾椎末端窜上大脑,轰的一声烧红了全身血液。厌恶到这种程度,连假设一下那种可能性,都不被允许。&ldo;徐哥,你站那干嘛?&rdo;王铮的声音在他背后响起。卧病了一两个礼拜,那个声音羸弱中带了沙哑,却有维持原有的温和低柔,这些要素汇合起来,忽然就像导火线被点燃一样,徐文耀蓦地转身,大踏步向王铮走去,在他诧异的眼神中捧起他的脸,狠狠地吻了下去。这种冲动一辈子也没尝试过,徐文耀一边吻一边想,真是奇了怪了,这么做也并非被强烈的欲望驱使着,只是渴望这么贴近他,抱在怀里,隔着病服摩挲他瘦削的背脊,单薄的蝴蝶骨,还有弧线优雅如起伏缓坡的腰线。他加深这个吻,把舌头探进去,勾起他的,贴着滑过去又溜过来,仔细温柔地吮吸,这是必要的。他吻着王铮,闭上眼忘乎所以地想,这么吻他是必要的,只有这么贴近,那股莫名其妙的狂躁才得以平息,他刚刚险些就冒出把李天阳解决了的念头才得以消弭,身体四肢像进入母体的羊水中,自在轻松地绽放每个毛孔,连稍微低头就能感受到的无形的荒芜冰原,似乎也能掀开灌了水银或者铅一样的天幕,露出一点平原上的稀稀拉拉的星星。四周像是都被隔绝了,用一层薄膜,显得影影绰绰,看不分明。但分明有现实的声音传来,似乎窗外有流落此地过冬的鸟鸣,啾啾的听不清楚,也有隔壁病房的人在走动说话,突然之间,传来裂帛一样的一声哀嚎。是个女人,声音凄厉而尖锐,瞬间击退用薄膜隔断的四周。王铮在他怀里一颤,徐文耀只得结束吻他,却见他喘着气,睁大眼睛有些受惊地问:&ldo;发生什么事了?&rdo;徐文耀侧耳倾听,然后说:&ldo;可能是有病患过世了。家属接受不了噩耗,正哭呢?&rdo;哭声越发明显,这时不再是女声,还加进来几个男声,无不哀嚎哭喊,依稀听到是在喊爸爸。王铮听了听,眼神一黯,低声说:&ldo;我知道了,应该是隔壁病房的张伯。昨天他女儿碰到我,还说过今天他要进行心脏搭桥手术,应该是术后引发了并发症……&rdo;&ldo;年纪大了,风险自然就多。&rdo;徐文耀轻抚他的脸,微笑说,&ldo;别担心,你比他年轻多了,一定会没事。&rdo;王铮抬起头,目光润湿,他忽然说:&ldo;再来一下。&rdo;&ldo;什么?&rdo;&ldo;就刚刚的……&rdo;王铮神色赧颜,却眼神执拗。

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