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《全职业米虫》作者:秋夜听雨

师兄说,修仙是个痛苦而漫长的过程……哎,你怎么三个月就结成金丹了!

答:因为我技能全精通,想怎么作弊就怎么作弊。

妖王说,吃掉你,采阴补阳,可以助吾妖力大增……哎,你干什么?你抓着吾干嘛?话说你怎么能抓到吾的!

答:因为我游戏里玩的就是妖族,采补这种事儿还是让我来吧!

魔王说,人类一旦拥有了至高无上的能力,必定变得贪婪丑陋……哎,我说你听见没有,平白拥有这么多神兽,号令天下都不成问题,你怎么能在这里睡大觉!

答:我的理想,是成为修真界最职业的米虫。

所以你们快快闭嘴,不要打扰到本姑娘专心修炼,

胆敢打扰本姑娘修成米虫正果的人,

休怪姑娘不留情面!

==========================================================

楔子劈腿的,杀无赦!

会当凌绝顶,一览众山小!

天清气朗,风卷云舒,大好天气里,昙花一现穿着神器套装,站在最高的剑塔上,手持混沌灵杖,如天神站在玉阶冷然漠视下方的庸碌凡人,衣袂无风翻涌,手中混沌灵杖射出一道清光。

【系统消息:执子之手,与子偕老,同心连壁,天荒地老。恭贺狂战天下与悠然清灵喜结连理。】

问仙城内,广场上九百九十九朵玫瑰堆成心型,迎亲队敲锣打鼓,吹唢喇舞龙狮,新郎骑白马配红花,守护花轿之旁,参加婚礼的客人将街道挤得水泄不通,天空也密密麻麻停满了带翅膀御飞剑的高手,认识的不认识的都上世界频道刷祝福喇叭。

“嗷唔……”

龙吟长啸,天色忽然暗下来,所有人抬头望去,问仙城上方不知何时飞来了一个庞然大物,遮天盖地的盘旋头顶。

“是青龙!要攻城吗?!”

“看!剑塔顶上!”

问仙城最高建筑剑塔之巅,立着一个白衣飘飘,周身环绕淡紫清光的女人,阳光投射在她身上,更显得她仙姿卓然。

“是等级榜第一的昙花一现!”不知谁喊了一声,气氛越加热闹了。

新娘飞出花轿,火红的嫁衣被风吹得呼啦啦作响,“苏琬!天明跟我后天就订婚!你不要再痴心妄想了!”

哗!抢亲!三角恋!

“呸!以前是我瞎了眼!那种男人现在倒贴给我我都嫌恶心!”昙花一现喊着,飞身跃起,跳到青龙头顶,高举灵杖,“不过碍眼的东西一律得抹杀!凤鸣九天!”

灵杖顶端拳头大的神晶爆发强光,一抹红影射向天空,化为一团火焰,映得整个天空红彤彤的,火焰爆开,朱雀舒展着巨大的双翅,发出一声长鸣,龙吟相随,天地震动,下方的人群一下子乱了套,如苍蝇般朝城外飞窜。

昙花一现毫不犹豫的灵杖一挥,直指下方,“天火灭世!九霄雷落!”

朱雀双翅展开,扇出无数火球,带着雷霆之势朝下扑去,问仙城禁制升起,却挡不住神兽朱雀燃烧生命的灭世一击,禁制破碎,无差别的群攻让不少人被秒杀,成片的负号出现,天火熊熊燃烧。

青龙张嘴长吸,天空乌云席卷,闷雷声声,一束束带紫的雷光劈下,剑塔倾倒,房屋损毁,毁天灭地的攻势下,顽强吃药的幸存者在一堆负号中无奈趴到。

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