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有人说她冷漠,其实她面寒心热。譬如在外滩看见警察打人,忍不住气塞胸膛,一气之下,想去做官,或者做主席夫人,给那警察两个耳刮子。又譬如,作家柯灵当年被日本沪南宪兵队关押在&ldo;贝公馆&rdo;里。贝公馆坐落在贝当路上,是美国学堂旧址,原来是雪白的建筑,碧绿的糙地,纯净得像天堂。对门是庄严肃穆的国际教堂,紫酱色的斜屋顶,墙上爬满长春藤,幽雅安静,是情侣散步的好地方。日本人选了这么一处来做现世地狱,叫人两相对比更是忍不住毛骨悚然,从骨子里透出阵阵阴风。柯灵虽侥幸没有受武士道精神的洗礼‐‐严刑拷打,却听够了被害者受刑时那种锥心刺骨的号叫声,体察了伍子胥过文昭关一夜白头的焦灼无奈,心神俱损。隔了不久他被释放,有&ldo;刚从死亡线上脱险,对那个环境感觉特别灵敏,觉得人世真是美好&rdo;的感悟。回到家里,知道爱玲曾在他蒙难时去探问,自是感动不已,&ldo;当即用文言复了她一个短笺,寥寥数行,在记忆里是我最好的作品之一。原因是平常写作,很难有这种激动的心情。&rdo;常言道:&ldo;锦上添花易,雪中送炭难。&rdo;爱玲偏偏是你富贵我不沾你,你受难我亦不怕去看你,可见其仁侠重情。患难不相忘,亦不避嫌弃,那真是无可言说的知己之恩。彼时柯灵虽没有明言,但用文言复信可见其慎重。名士之风悠然可见,其感激之情,也不可言喻。我读《今生今世》,胡兰成也写到这一段:&ldo;爱玲与外界少往来,惟一次有个朋友被日本宪兵队逮捕,爱玲因《倾城之恋》改编舞台剧上演,曾得他奔走,由我陪同去慰问过他家里,随后我还与日本宪兵说了,要他们可释放则释放。&rdo;事情并不希奇。只是读了柯灵的文章才知道,连他自己也不知道当年救他的就是爱玲。原来她只是兀自做了,完全没有张扬。时隔四十年才知救命之人,柯灵于是&ldo;产生了难分难解的复杂情绪。但是对张爱玲的好心,我只有加倍的感激。&rdo;古人遭难蒙人搭救只是一句&ldo;救命之恩,没齿难忘&rdo;。柯灵想必也是这样的感觉。施恩不望报正是中国的侠义。爱玲是侠女。她是天生的贵族,亦是真正的贵族。红尘冷漠湮灭不了她温热善良的心,世间曾有爱玲,是我们的幸!她本就是妙玉。虽然到头来仍是&ldo;红尘肮脏违心愿&rdo;,到底没有&ldo;太高人愈妒,过洁世同嫌&rdo;的慨叹。爱玲比之妙玉是幸运的,因她活在我们的时代。到底是女子她说&ldo;生命是一袭华美的袍&rdo;,写得恢弘大气。她说:&ldo;就是再没有心肝的女子说起她&lso;去年的那件织锦缎夹袍&rso;的时候,也是一往情深的。&rdo;写得情致缠绵。她说:&ldo;从前的人吃力地过了一辈子,所作所为,渐渐蒙上了灰尘,子孙晾衣服时又把灰尘给抖了下来,在金色的太阳里飞舞着,回忆这东西要是有气味的话,那就是樟脑的香甜和稳妥,像记得分明的快乐,甜而怅惘,忘却了忧愁。&rdo;写得黯淡幽怨。我自从看了一幅爱玲储衣室的照片,满满当当的华服,现在看来都不过时,深为惊讶羡慕。读到有段时间爱玲每天提着个小菜篮自己去买菜,我也不觉得她是清苦的,那苏丽珍不也是天天拿着保温桶去买云吞吗?清贫散淡有时也是一种情调。娴静优雅的爱玲会在阳光浓烈的日子里,摆弄拾掇着自己的旗袍、前清夹袄和日本花布。阳光那样细碎地洒在她脸上。她微眯着眼,笑着,浅浅满足地笑着。树上的叶子闪着金翠的光,她看了一会儿,幽幽地叹息着。旗袍是她的至爱,直到去世,她依旧穿着一件赭红色的旗袍。也是这件赭红色的旗袍使她的辞世显得不那么凄凉‐‐这个女人自始至终是亮烈的。我想来想去,想不出一个女人能像她一般爱恋着旗袍华服。这样的知根知底,一不小心,成了病态。爱玲说:&ldo;我既不是美女,又没有什么特点,不靠这些招摇,怎么引得起别人注意?&rdo;类似这样的话她也曾经对弟弟说过:&ldo;一个人假使没有什么特长,最好是做得特别,可以引人注意。我认为与其做一个平庸的人过一辈子清闲生活,终其身,默默无闻,不如做一个特别的人做点特别的事,大家都晓得有这么一个人,不管他人是好是坏,但名气总归有了。&rdo;

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