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第17章(第2页)

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“那又不是酸汤水饺。”薛凡白他一眼,“真不明白你一个大男人,为什么爱吃酸的。”

张朝笑着脱口道:“那你还吃。”

话音落下,张朝忽然笑不出来了,傻子都能看出来,薛凡正在为他改变自己的口味。

“张朝,是我没本事。”憋了一上午,憋了一肚子的话,薛凡终于在此时开口了,“我以为我故意气你,会让你害怕失去我,从而变得更加在乎我……”

重重地叹了口气,薛凡说:“是我没本事。”

张朝心里实在不好受:“根本不是这么个事儿……”

“那为什么我们之间会发展成这样?”薛凡皱眉问,“你对我没感觉了,不再热情,每一天你都冷着脸,面无表情地工作、吃饭、睡觉,你知道我有多害怕、多无助吗?”

薛凡的话听起来没错,但张朝心里很清楚:“我不可能对你没感觉。”

“爱不是时刻都要让你知道、感受得到。”阳光明明不热,张朝却出了一背的汗,“那样真的太累了。”

“到点上班,按时下班,安分守己地回家,哪儿也不乱跑,管你一日三餐。”张朝说,“印刷厂拖欠我半年的工资,这半年我过得很焦虑,也觉得自己活得很失败,但我从没想过要一个人生活,因为家里有你在,我其实心里很踏实。”

薛凡抿嘴:“那你为什么不告诉我呢?”

“就像你以为我会老老实实在家等你回来一样。”张朝苦笑道,“我也以为你是懂我的。”

话说到这份儿上,薛凡明白了,许多事情都已经发生,他们是真的回不去了。

十年相守,爱一个人爱到骨子里,爱成了习惯,爱成了生命中的难以割舍,原来这样深重的感情,竟是这么不堪一击。

心里空了,彻底空了。薛凡受伤地别过脸,轻声问:“你对蒋冬有感觉吗?”

张朝顿了顿,回答:“谈不上。”

薛凡说:“我想听你跟我说一次分手。”

听见这话,张朝没声了。他曾在交往之初跟薛凡承诺过,绝对不会跟他提“分手”二字,况且两人走到今天这一步,张朝认为是自己对不起薛凡更多,因此更没资格主动要求分开。

薛凡看着张朝:“你要是说了,我就不再缠着你了。”

张朝顺手就要往唇间塞烟,薛凡一把夺走他的烟包,目光如炬,死死地盯着他。

浓浓春日,万物复苏的季节,本该萌生出更多甜蜜的爱恋,有情人都该皆如所愿。末了,张朝低下头,右手掐着后颈,重重地呼出一口气。

“薛凡,我已经对不起你了。”张朝的声音几不可闻,“所以,我不想再对不起蒋冬了。”

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